I was listening to a podcast the other day while drawing a bit. Tell the truth, I'd just heard a snippet of the interview on Youtube, something about dating or some such and got curious. It was mainly about body language and confidence, with someone who is apparently an expert on that, Vanessa Van Edwards. And it was a fascinating interview, but one thing she said drew my attention in particular, she was saying how poorly we communicate attraction now, how even when we're attracted to somebody, we pretend we're not or perhaps get "tricked" by thinking that there's so many other, better options available. That seems to be an issue now - the abundance of choice is leaving more and more people frustrated and lonely. There's a paradox there, a very sad one.
And she was commenting on a dating experiment and saying how perplexed she was by her client (a woman she was, as I understand it, instructing through the date) who put down her date and treated him very poorly, only for her to admit afterwards how attracted she actually was to him.
Are we now more than before caught in this struggle to dominate one another? To prove who's top dog (doesn't feel like it should be a consideration in love, but there it is)? Me, I've never been a fan of "playing it cool" or playing this who's cooler, more skilled, better at his job, all that competitive noise that people seem to think belongs in relationships. So maybe there's something there I simply do not understand.
Anyway, that wasn't the interesting bit. This lady actually went on to link this inability to communicate attraction and our deepening isolation and distance from each other to the alarming drop in fertility rates that seems to be a tremendous problem all across the Western world.
It could be. There has to be a link. I think it's important to consider, especially before we get caught on more extreme ideas and speculation as to why so few babies are born to us in the West, it's worth considering that we've just been sold this myth that there is someone ever better out there in the distance for us. That we need to pursue them obsessively or that we're better off on our own.
Now, you know me. You know I could never believe that. I don't think you can go it alone, or more importantly, that you should. I reckon it's a tragedy, how many people are feeling isolated and misunderstood and unloved.
But as much as that is tragic, I also find I really moving when I realize how many people are, in their own way, trying to fix everything. It's an interesting issue to me, so I've listened to a fair number of people talking on this fertility crisis, and if there's any one thing I can safely say I've understood is that we are all trying our best. We're throwing around ideas, and trying to put out information and services and actions that are of value that could help lead us on a healthier, happier, more united path. Not everyone, some people are actively sowing dissent and hatred. But most of us, I think, we're trying to fix things in whatever way we think is best.
And you gotta love them for that. People.
The scary part of living in the world today is that it's very very easy to get frightened. It's scary to think we're not having kids. Or loving one another. Or that we're scared and hateful of each other before we even properly meet. But even as that's scary, it balances out when you realize everyone is actually just trying to help.
I know I've said this quite often in the past, but it feels like I haven't in a second, so maybe it bears repeating. We have still (and always) more in common than we have different.
But maybe you're not feeling like listening to a 2h podcast just now. Or thinking about big complex thinkies. That's alright. It's Tuesday.
This was a very nice surprise. I happen to think he's one of the best vocalists we have in this country, as for the young lady, just blown away, frankly.
Reminded me of this. An old favorite because it's impossible not to love. În zid boceşte o voce, ce ai făcut, Manole? Lasă-mi ochii larg închişi ~ it's my favorite take of all on a timeless myth, or rather a few, how we'd rather be blind than see how terrible the ones we love can sometimes be, that we must sacrifice what we love in order to ascend, but is ascension relevant or worthwhile if it means going without that which you loved in the first place?
I mean, the video is cringy as hell, but the song's pretty fire, especially the women. It's an old traditional courtship song that unmarried girls sang and danced as part of a traditional ensemble, taught from mother to daughter. It was forbidden to girls once they were married (having to give up their place in the ensemble, to be replaced by a younger, unmarried girl. This was simply because in itself, participation to the dance suggested a valuable moment in a young woman's "initiation" by the female elders of the village. Purtata was also considered a powerful fertility rite, its very steps (i.e. the women first forming a line then becoming a winding spiral) carrying rich symbolism as old as time itself. It's a compelling melody, I thought.
So all my choices for this week have been of a more traditional bend. So it be. Heyo @ablaze and thanks for initiating and carrying this out! :)
