20 minutes. That is the amount of time I have devoted, on a daily basis, to what happens to me. In those minutes I am just me. I am not my job, I am not the zeros in my bank account, I am not just anyone's mother or girlfriend; absolutely no one's daughter, aunt, sister. I have chosen this habit of only focusing on myself for that finite amount of time, because it's what I can afford.... They say we are many versions of the same person at various times.... Well, I couldn't be or choose to be what I know I am because that would jeopardise several things I depend on but I can be my most authentic self in those precious 20 minutes.
By myself. I have decided to take several truces. It is a truly uncomfortable and rarely debated, but there is hardly room for everyone in the things we long for in life. So sooner or later we have to develop the capacity to be able to be bold. With the boss we can't stand, or even with a relative who, because they share the same blood as us, thinks they have the right to walk all over you in perpetuity. That's where having several versions of yourself comes from...
At some point in our early childhood or adolescence, we are taught that if for some reason we end up alone, we have automatically reached the end of our existence and our lives.... We're programmed to have a field day with the mere concept of loneliness. Ignoring the fact that it is not even a debate. Sooner or later we will end up in loneliness of some kind. It is not a question of whether or not it will happen, but when and if we will be truly ready for it... Intrinsic to the minimalist philosophy is the value of self.
You can't share something if you don't start from the fact that we start with ourselves, not apart from each other. That said, demystifying a little of the collective terror towards the idea of solitude is a very valuable and appreciated idea; at least for me. I do not wish to live in a world where dependency and the interest that dependency teaches binds all relationships.... During the journey of each of the 20 minutes, I really think, live, breathe, and act being absolutely me.... And that is something that, although it seems strange to understand, is actually quite the opposite.
Could you be yourself in any context/situation or moment? Mmm, I don't know, let me hesitate a bit... It's not personal towards you, it's common sense. We would scare everyone and everything away if we really showed our full authenticity. Perhaps, we've invented a little fear of loneliness to replace what we hide.... No matter how things happen, I come to confess to you and to use this mini-mininalist window as a context to drain my little secret... And thus, modestly, to help you fight that fear of being alone. Maybe it's time to look at the glass half full, instead of half empty, don't you think?
All photographs and content used in this post are my own. Therefore, they have been used under my permission and are my property.
