I am not a good advisor in terms of speaking to someone one on one, but with my pen I have many healing and emotional lifting words that are more than what the mouth can say.
So will you listen to me, it won’t take more than 3 to 5 minutes of your time and you will be thorough with what I have to say.
A verse in the Holy Bible says:
My son be attentive to my words, incline your ears to my saying, for they are life to those who find them and health to all their flesh.
This might be strange to you, as not everybody is privileged or likes to go to church, and perhaps you have not read the Bible. However, it is not the issue here but rather the wisdom behind them which I think is very significant within this context.
I understand the struggle of letting go of emotional things and physical experiences, it's not easy for anyone, as I myself have been there before. However, I have learned to listen to the voice of reason and the wisdom from the above quotes. Therefore, allow me to be your advisor just this once, you might find help in what I have to say in navigating this challenging journey.
It's true that holding onto things, whether emotional memories, or physical things can make one feel comfortable. It is like staying in a comfort zone with a safety blanket. But the truth is that being comfortable can be a hindrance to growing and experiencing something new and better things in life.
It is not a bad thing to feel attached to things. Humans must be humans, it's our nature. But I want to encourage you to evaluate your life to know what these attachments might be costing you. You can ask yourself these questions; am I moving forward or growing being attached to these things? How much space are they occupying in my heart or home that could be filled with new experiences of joy and fulfilments? These questions can help you find an easier way to let go of those attachments.
Talking about emotional attachments, it's the hardest to let go of. For example, it could be a past relationship breakup, an opportunity you missed, or a feeling of hurt you have held up to for a long time. Whatever it may be, one thing is true, holding onto these emotions is like carrying around a heavy bag on your back wherever you go. As with physical loads, so is emotional loads. They will weigh you down and reduce your speed and how far you can go in life.
From my experience, I have learned that acknowledging these emotions is the first step to overcoming the feelings. You don't have to push them under the carpet or pretend they don't exist while you keep hurting within. Instead, sit with them for a moment and admit the impact they have had on you. Then, consider if they still serve any purpose in your life at present. If not then I think it’s time to throw them away.
When we talk about holding onto physical things, I believe objects can hold memories. But sometimes it seems we like to hold onto things long past their usefulness. For example, you cannot tell me that those shirts left hanging in your wardrobe doing nothing for years are still useful to you irrespective of what they might cost you to buy them when you did. You never wear them, but can't seem to give them to those who might find them useful.
Same with your school old books, they are just occupying space in your room and inviting pests and rodents. Even that old hobby of yours you knew you no longer enjoy still makes you feel guilty about quitting. All these attachments can clutter up your life and mind beyond what you can imagine.
Let me recommend a little exercise that I find helpful in this context. Assume you want to pack into a new apartment, look at the things that you have now, which of them are not good enough to go with you into your new apartment? You can also ask yourself after picking out the things that are good enough to go with you to the new apartment: Do these things bring me joy or still serve any purpose in my life? If you answer no, then I guess it's time to say goodbye to them.
But, keep in mind that letting go of those objects do not erase the memories associated with them. So, you still have the memories to cherish rather than holding onto things that are not useful to you physically.
It is also the same thing with experiences, it's natural to want to hold onto the memories of good times, or to hold onto the lessons learned from bad ones. However, you shouldn't let past experiences prevent you from new experiences.
No matter what you have learned from a bad experience, they are not enough to keep you stuck in life. You don’t need to forget the past to move forward, as the saying “forget the past” is not applicable in life. You just need to let things go to make space for the present and your future. It's your happiness that matters most.
I know that everything I have said in this article is easier said than done. Letting go sometimes feels like a piece of you is being taken away. But trust me, it’s not.
You are more than all the experiences and emotional possessions you have had. You do not lose yourself when you let go, instead, you are making room for growth, for new adventures, and for a better you.
I would recommend that you start small. You can start by letting go of one emotional burden today, or give out one of your old shirts. Each grudge you release, each item you let go of, is a step towards finding the path to a more simple and fulfilling life.
I hope I do not waste your time reading my advice. Can I become your advisor from now on?
Thanks for reading!
The attached image is from Canva.