Good for you for standing your ground - these "expected" wedding spendings are just insane to me! If I ever get married, I won't care what people are wearing, just that they're there close to me. But yes, it can be hard butting heads with people on a different frequency than yours, and it sounds like that's the case for some of your friends, unfortunately. But if someone cares about you, in time, they will learn to respect and perhaps even appreciate those differences :)
RE: Misunderstanding minimalism for deprivation.