Environments that bring us together... or drive us apart

For me and for several people I have spoken to about this topic, the environment is important because it influences how you feel. When it comes to the physical environment, how things look, and if something is cluttered with objects or perhaps messy, I almost immediately feel a little overwhelmed. Since I was little, I grew up in a house where it was cultural to have a lot of things, decorations, furniture, and so on. Perhaps as a child, this didn't affect me because it was normal, but as an adult, it's a different story.

I learned to reject anything that looked too cluttered because it immediately made me feel uncomfortable, and I know that this doesn't only happen to me because several friends have told me that the same thing happens to them. I simply think that the fewer things there are around, the more orderly a place is. I even love how an empty house looks, although you simply can't have one.

So I'm going to tell you that our surroundings influence how we feel emotionally, and they influence us a lot, because between you and me, when I visit a house that's full of decorations or lots of furniture, I feel a little overwhelmed. Obviously, as I told you before, this also happens to me in the house where I live, which isn't mine, so there are many things you can't do, and that also causes me emotional distress.

But now, speaking of a slightly more personal environment, I can tell you that it's a little frustrating in a relationship when the other person doesn't understand what the environment can do to you. For example, someone who feels comfortable and is fine with a maximalist style will never feel bad or overwhelmed by their style, but on the contrary, when they see my house without so many things, they may feel that something is missing or that it's empty.

Sometimes these same differences can drive a friendship apart, because of the pursuit of different goals, because of appreciating different things, or because of not being able to share tastes, since what in a super noisy place, full of people, comforts, expenses, and excesses, can be the most fun a person has in their life, one personally does not enjoy such places and in fact, at least in my case, I avoid them, which can drive a friendship apart a little.

As an example, I recently took some photos of a beautiful bush full of flowers, and when I got closer, there were bees on several of the flowers, which made me think about this a little. Bees are attracted to flowers that contain nectar, which they need to feed themselves and also to do their job successfully and make honey. Instinctively, they are drawn to flowers that will provide them with what they need.

In our case, we also have the right to be attracted to people or places where we feel we can nourish ourselves much more mentally and emotionally. Flowers, for their part, do not demand that bees consume their nectar or tell them that they are the best flowers they will ever see in the world. They simply let the bees decide, allowing them to be free to approach or not according to their preferences.

It's the same with us. We can't demand that everyone else think the same way we do. We simply hold on to what we believe and continue to strive to grow as human beings a little bit more each day. If others feel comfortable with us or we influence them in a positive way, then we let them approach us freely and hope that they also give us the freedom to approach them. But the thing is, flowers and bees are not of the same species.

But now back to the point, all of this affects something physical like home decor, but also the way of thinking we develop when we are minimalists. Not everyone will understand how you think or how you prefer things to be as quiet as possible. I feel that these differences can affect things a little. Obviously, we're not going to write off someone we love just because they have different ways of thinking, but it can happen that we don't understand the other person well, and this prevents us from spending time with them.

I can say from my own experience that I have sometimes been a bit intense, mainly with my family, suggesting that they could get rid of certain pieces of furniture to make the house look a bit tidier, or perhaps sharing something that has worked for me so that there aren't so many objects in sight, and I have noticed that this has sometimes made them uncomfortable. So I have learned from my own experience that respect is very necessary, as well as knowing how to say things tactfully.

It is not always easy to accept that someone feels good about something that makes us feel bad, but part of being a minimalist is also understanding that not everyone values the same things, and in those cases, being understanding is the best option. However, there will be times when certain differences are inevitable, or when, convinced and grateful for the good results of our way of thinking, we want to convince others that our way of life is the best.

The thing is that, in my opinion, the environment in which we live can have a big impact, but sometimes we will have to ignore it a little in order to live with those we love, without changing who we are or punishing ourselves too much by exposing ourselves to things that exceed our limits. Simply with a lot of respect and trying to be as understanding as possible. Because even in this, valuing what is essential is the most important thing, and what is essential in this case is our family and friends and the relationship we have with them.