One of my favorite things to do, while on public transport is to fade. I like to stare at moving cars, admire their graceful movements, admire their skilled drivers, and sometimes, stare at moving nothings. The last is actually what I enjoy doing the most, because with whatever shebang is going on around me, it feels like I'm nothing but an audience to it. At that moment, I don't have to take control and be in charge of everything. I only have to be.
On my way back from work daily, sitting in a bus that's taking me home, I love to just tune out everything that tugs at my insides. The deadlines to meet, whatever work I have kept aside to be done that evening, I tune it all out and take my time away from it all. Doing life can be very exhausting sometimes and so, I look forward to moments like these. Moments where I don't have to fixate on anything in particular, rather I just have to look on, as things happen around me.
I like to describe myself as an imperfect perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist who procrastinates a lot and ends up struggling to perfect things because I procrastinated too much it was too late. Am I making sense? I hope I am. When I procrastinate, I'm plagued by thoughts. My mind does something where it samples all the possible ways things could go haywire if I didn't do those things but I still end up leaving them undone till I'm close to the deadline. Being this imperfect perfectionist leaves my mind almost always in a state of panic. Ergo, the respite that comes with staring at moving vehicles.
In this journey, where the need for survival has become the order of the day, we need our living moments, away from the hullabaloo that is typical of our daily lives. I remember staring out the window today, in a bus, my palms placed below my chin, watching everything around me do their thing. I was so invested in nothingness today, I revelled in the bliss it offered.
Times like these, when I look back to the respite and serenity I enjoyed, the calm that enveloped me, filling me with a new strength to continue with whatever other tasks I've had for the day, leaves me considering how much more of my life do I need to incorporate minimalism into. If I could derive immense satisfaction just by decluttering my mind and allowing myself the moment, how much more areas of my life have been denied their own little pleasures?
I told myself, after alighting, that I definitely was going to write about getting lost while sitting in a vehicle, so here I am, using hive as my personal diary for the day. Seeing life through others was so beautiful today. I'm really glad I experienced it, and got to define what it was I experienced.
Amidst the rush, and every exhaustion that accompanied my day today, I found respite in watching people do them, and feeling myself in the background. That, my dear reader, is how I tune out to just be.
Thanks for reading.
Images were taken by me.