I have often argued that one's choice of lifestyle shouldn't affect one another in relationships especially amongst friends. I thought everyone can be themselves and not compromise in order to suit the needs of another. I thought all that was needed was understanding and respecting each other's choices and that should be enough to make the friendship last. But boy was I wrong!
Just like other relationships, I now believe it's paramount to make friends with people whom you share great similarities with. That is, if one needs that friendship to have a positive impact or values in one's life.
There was something that happened between myself and a friend of mine a few months ago that made me start reconsidering my stay in the friendship.
There's a party we both needed to attend and she suggested we wear gold jewelry. I agreed since I knew it would match the attire we would put on.
I had wanted to get one anyways since the last one I had was taken by one of my cousins when she visited. So I decided to indulge since I have some money on me to spare.
The jeweller shop is on the other street from my friend's house and we decided to go later in the day.
When we got there, we told the woman what we needed and she brought out beautiful gold sets and we both started checking them to see the one we would like.
I saw a three-piece gold set I liked. I asked for the price and it was very affordable. I quickly picked it and waited for my friend to pick hers.
She saw one which was very beautiful, the price was also affordable though slightly higher than mine but since it's a choice then it's fine.
I thought that was all until she kept searching for more. I asked her why she needed more since that one would suffice but she said they all looked beautiful and she just had to get more.
Now I understand the temptation of wanting to buy more, especially when those things are very pleasing to the eyes but if one is not careful, they end up spending all their savings acquiring them.
I tried talking her out of getting more because I knew very well that she has a mini project she wants to do and needs money for and buying more would mean she would have to take out of the little she had saved up for the project.
The jeweler, seeing what I was trying to do, turned around and tried to get me to buy more instead by showing me some silver jewelry as well.
“No ma. This is enough. Besides this is the budget I had in mind. I don't have more to splurge on Jewelry”. I said, politely turning her down.
“Don't you have some money on that Hive thing that you are doing?”, My friend asked, making me raise my brow in surprise.
“I do. But I have other priorities. I can't spend all my money on jewellery now, can I?” I asked her.
She didn't respond but continued looking for more gold jewelry.
“Madam, spend this money o. We only live once”.
The woman selling the jewelry told me, trying to get me to buy more. Well I won't say I blame her, she's trying to sell the wares and more sales equals more profit to her.
It took a while but my friend finally selected four different gold sets of jewelry while I maintained my stance on just getting the one I picked. We paid and left the woman's shop.
Now, I am not cross with the fact that she bought the four sets. It's her money afterall. She can decide how she wishes to spend it. I know she is somewhat of a maximalist and I didn't allow it to bother me since it's her life.
What I worry about is her lack of self control and not prioritizing the most important things she needed money for because she couldn't control her impulses.
Then she would start complaining bitterly that she's broke afterwards in a bid to see if I can offer a solution to her woes because I showed her the little savings I have here on Hive.
I have tried unsuccessfully to bring her onboard the Hive blockchain for a long time but she keeps giving one excuse or the other. “It's very complicated”, “I am not a good writer”, “I am very busy” and so on.
Even when I have shown her for the umpteenth time that Hive is not all about being a good writer at first. There's a whole lot of niches to explore, communities where she can easily fit into and with time it will help her develop her writing skills.
I explained how being on Hive would further expose her to a lot of things about earning digitally. I am ready to teach the little I know all I need is her willingness to learn but all my sermons have been falling on deaf ears.
I believe friends should help each other grow. Not necessarily dictate how one should live their lives but at least give one or two pieces of advice that can help better each other's lives.
But it seems our two separate lifestyles are really contradicting each other which in turn poses a challenge for our friendship.
We are still friends though but as things are going, I believe time will tell.
Thank you all for reading.
Images Used Are Mine.