Lovers Day is 7 days away. I have a dreamy smile on my face and one finger on the infinity pendant sitting prettily on my neck, I am not a fan of jewelry but when this one was presented to me in that red jewelry box, I couldn't say no to it.
Source
I do not see my roommate walk in and stop in her tracks to watch me for a while. I only hear her clap her hands a couple of times.
“You're back” She scoffs at me.
“This one you're daydreaming early in the day, what has David done again?”
I drag my lashes at her in an up and down movement then hiding my grin, I go over to take out my laptop.
She watches me for some time as I slip my anti-blue-light lenses up my nose and plug my system in. I am typing a few corrections by the side of a script when she walks up to me.
“I'm busy,” I say without so much as a glance in her direction.
“I know you're busy, but I want to talk to you.”
I snap the laptop shut and turn to her.
“What is it?”
“I'm envious of you”. I slap a palm to my forehead. “No, wait. Let me finish, I'm jealous of the way you seem to have everything in your life figured out.” She rises to pace, marking on her fingers as she begins a list.
“You've already discovered your career path, you know how to survive in your own space; whether there's someone to look out for you or not, you will get along just fine. You have love now…”
I rise at this point, going to lead her to the chair I am just leaving. It is my turn to pace.
“It is good you used the word ‘seem’. Life is hard work. You have to work a lot for what you want. Good things come naturally to some people, but good things don't stay naturally. You're constantly working to keep them.”
“What if those things you think are good aren't so good?”
“What are you driving at?” When she rises, I go back to the chair.
“It's Timothy! He keeps frustrating me, I don't know anymore.” I sigh. She always had a thing or two to say about Timothy, especially since I started dating.
“What if the problem is from you?” she doesn't expect that, so she stops with a quizzical expression on her face. “Yes, I hear you complain about Tim all the time, what if you're the one with the problem?” She is giving it some thought as she paces a few feet.
“What do you mean, Tee?”
“You want Tim to be a better man for you, yeah?” She nods. “Have you thought about being a better woman for him?” When she sits on the bed, I know I have her full attention.
“You see, because of everything that goes on in our society today, it's easy for us to expect stuff from a man and vice versa.”
She was hooked now.
“Yeah. A relationship means a lot of things to a lot of people. But to me, my relationship is a platform for a bigger picture between two people. For that picture to materialize, we have to ensure compatibility. We have to grow, compromise, and make sacrifices. Note, that I'm using the word ‘we’.” When she nods again, I go on. “If you leave all the growing and sacrificing to one partner, you'll never be good enough for them,”
She rises to pace again. I do not speak until she settles down.
“That means there's something I'm not doing.”
“No babe, you're doing something. You're just doing it wrongly. You're focusing on the aspects he is not doing well, not to help him improve, but to nag him about them. That kills a relationship faster than poison. You too have to grow. Read books and do a regular self-evaluation. Wake up and be sweet to him even when he is not sweet to you. Remember that love is borne out of submission. When you do things for him, he too will naturally tilt towards doing stuff for you”.
“Does that work?” She looked like she had seen the Messiah.
“If you're dating a wise person, yes. It wasn't always rosy with David and I, but I decided to stay and work it out. I can say we're doing far better than when we began”.
She came over to throw her hands around my neck. I hold her close.
“Everything would be alright,” I tell her. She sniffles and nods. I do not say another word. I am wondering how I came up with my impressive advice on how to be Miss Right within those few minutes.