Just one question which demands an honest answer from you
As an individual who has always questioned his identity, I have come to the conclusion that no one wants to be a better human. We want to know that it’s okay to live in our truth without being ridiculed for being perfectly flawed and unapologetically ourselves.
The problem is that some people think being better means losing weight or taking up a new hobby. But it’s more about how we view life and the people in it that makes us a better version of ourselves.
Truth be told, some people are so stubborn that they think it’s only one way to live life or be happy. These types of people don’t want to be better people. They want to sit back and judge everyone else for being different, non-traditional, or open to various lifestyles.
Unfortunately, some of us are people-pleasers. We will make choices based on what others think, hide our true feelings, and live as our true selves behind closed doors. These types of individuals don't actually want to be better people. They don’t want to disappoint the humans they love. But do you know what? Only one person is looking back at you when you look in the mirror and that's you, hence, every day that we live to make others happy, we are dying off little by little on the inside.
Of course, we don’t want to be rejected by our loved ones because society already places labels and restrictions on us. But being a better person is not about sacrificing everything that we are to fit into a box of ideas of ourselves.
Let's look at what it takes to be a better person
Being less critical of yourself and others.
This seems to be one part everyone really gets to struggle with. Some days we love everything about ourselves, and other days, we find it challenging to think of one thing we like. Yet, there is always such positive feedback coming from others.
Be thankful and grateful for what you have rather than focus on what you don’t have.
You may not like your job, but some people can’t even get out of bed and take care of their daily needs. You don’t have your dream home, but some people don’t even have a warm and dry place to sleep at night. You don’t have your dream car, but some people are content with bikes, so they don’t have to walk everywhere. You are blessed more than you believe. It’s all about perspective.
Encouraging someone to live out their dreams.
Motivate, educate, inspire, and help others achieve their desired life. I want you to note that It’s not about investing in someone financially. It’s about guiding others to the resources they need to give them a fighting chance of making it in this life. Everyone needs someone that believes in them more than they believe in themselves.
Speaking up for yourself and others.
Learning to say no, protecting your peace, defending what and who is important to you, and getting your point across without feeling guilty about your feelings are all a part of creating boundaries for yourself and others. Becoming a better person doesn’t mean everyone will like or agree with you.
Simply let things that are meant to fall in place naturally take their course.
Humans will do and say negative things, but it’s not our responsibility to stop at their level. You have matured once you understand that nothing has to be said or done to the humans who harmed you. Everyone gets a taste of their own medicine (or poison) sooner or later whether they like it or not since life has a way of giving back what you have given to it. It’s our responsibility to forgive others and not allow their words or choices to dictate our lives.
Listening to understand others.
Some people are so quick to judge they don’t realize that you are deeply hurting. Don’t be the type of human that makes others feel inferior to you because of their perspective. We are all more alike than different. We should be building a connection with others based on being human ourselves.
Doing for others without concern if the blessing will be returned to you.
Some people do good deeds for recognition. Some people do good deeds because they have empathy and see themselves in others. Some others want to brag or use their good deeds to control others, while others don’t care if anyone ever knows what they have done for another person. Be the person that does good things for others from the kindest of your heart.
Genuinely compliment and praise someone.
Never be jealous of others’ success or the material things of others. Be happy for others because you want others to win in life. Everyone’s blessings don’t look the same. So, don’t compare yourself to others. A human’s job, car, house, romantic relationship, or money doesn’t make them better than you.
You don’t always have to add your two cents to everything. Some humans just want to feel less alone. But if you think something needs direct attention, you have to be careful not to get so involved in others’ personal affairs that it consumes you or makes matters worse. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes, humans just want you to listen. They don’t even want advice or you to slay the dragon in the castle for them. Just settle with this truth that their battle is not yours unless there is harm being done.
No matter how hurtful, truth is always respected over lies and fakery. If more humans were real in this world, there would be little to no heartbreak or crime. The truth may not matter to everyone, but it will matter to the ones that value you.
Humans who are generous, helpful, thoughtful, friendly, and respectful are kind. You can be a kind human without lording over people. Though yes, some people see you as a target to be taken advantage of simply because you're kind. But then be a sweetheart but not stupid.
Know who you are in every way to understand yourself and humans in general. You know that you are far from perfect, and improvements can definitely be made mentally, emotionally, physically, creatively, professionally, financially, and spiritually. You don’t evolve as a person by living in denial. You only grow by exploring the good, bad, and ugly within yourself.
Final Thoughts
Being a better person is not about being your ideal weight or going under the knife to change something that you think is a flaw within yourself.
But ironically, these things tie into what we truly desire. We want to be loved, appreciated, respected, and accepted wholeheartedly for everything that makes us who we are.
No doubt, we are not the fat or the muscles we gain. We are not the insecurities that we want to erase from our bodies or minds. Most importantly, none of us are anyone’s punching bags or robots.
But if we understand what being a better person truly entails, would that even matter?
Would being a better person make us whole?
Or are we all still missing something that has given us this false idea of what a better person means?
None of us solely want to be a better person. We also want to be truly accepted.
I'm wrote this above words out of so much emotion and sadness. I'm Struggling with alot of things. I wish I could skip a year or two, but in truth, man has to go through every phase of life.