I spent the last couple of days re-writing a post about Elon Musk's Neuralink. It has been maybe 7 to 8 days since I started and I have started 3 times in total and each time I have taken different angles.
The first time I wrote about how this Brain Chip could one day be used to study the brains of psychopaths. I even added the names of very prolific and recent stories so that it would have a beautiful hook and entrap my audience but eventually, I lost steam describing the narrative.
The second time I tried to capture the device by pointing out the manner in which I was wrong the first time attempting the post and I explained it in detail. I wanted it to have a strong comedic vibe to it all. I ended up getting exhausted with the writing process and lost confidence in what I was making.
In both of these articles, I was also trying to push a social justice plot for men by comparing the brain of the average or a "good" man with that of a criminal in hopes that I would get people to see that normal men are not out to hurt people.
These two articles turned out not to have enough references and they were very annoying to produce. It requires too much energy to be that preachy, creative, funny and coherent all at once.
The last failed article was constructed from some headings I had penned down. It was supposed to address the non-science-based fears of people towards Neurolink in a way that did not belittle them as weird fanatics. I would have been awesome and I had already written the first paragraph before I got distracted by my need for research on the topic at every sentence.
But did I need to go through all this? Am I not in a field that requires a lot of science-backed thoughts and actions? Why do I think that what I know is not sufficient to muster up a post?
Yesterday Was a Very Busy Day
Source
I saw close to 20 patients in about 8 hours. One of which was a woman whose life was about to be rocked like a boat in an ocean. What she doesn't know is that the features she presented are very similar to what we find in patients with cancers.
It wasn't Weight Loss which is typically the case for a lot of patients in my experience. Immediately we do a CA 125 or CA 119 or AFP we immediately can tell that there is something going on .
It wasn't Weakness, the old lady was too agile. She was walking around the consulting office and was a source of comedic relief for me and her kids. You don't need to know the full details of this story, I don't need to say any names...heck I hardly remember and that would be unethical but I have so much to write about I wonder why I am not here every day journaling my life.
I currently type at 50 to 60 words per minute so I am not held back by the stress of typing...I am held back by the need for perfection.
The Identity Crisis
I have been writing in @stemsocial for close to 4 years now. Not every week but I don't think I have missed up to 3 months. I started to get very serious with this page and I made friends with top guys here and they've helped me get pointed in the right direction.
There are rules that I subconsciously follow while writing like keeping my paragraphs within 2 to 3 sentences long. I have gotten better as the years have gone by but this is not the cause of my problem today.
Today, I am able to find references to my thoughts because my mind works hand in hand with the science of it all. I constantly have to communicate what I know to patients. Sometimes I have to study with my patients and learn together with them.
The main issue when it comes to being perfect is when it comes in the way of productivity. It can gradually become a form of externalization: "I can't make my post until everything is ideal".
The brain loves this sort of mental protection. Don't go out into the wilderness, you could get hurt. Don't make a post that stems from your knowledge, people might not like it.
In an article by Ms. Emily Goss (Senior Clinician at The Perth Brain Centre) for the Women's Health Week 2023, explained that the reason we tend to get involved in fastidiousness is because of the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC).
In fact, those who are known to be so meticulous tend to have larger ACCs. While having a large sense of error can help with leadership positions that allow little margin for error, in a creative space it is disastrous.
I hope that one day someone will see all the work I have put out and call me a writer/content creator/doctor/fitness instructor/musician/graphic designer but I really hope it doesn't get into my head to the point that I can no long produce the things that made them address me that way.
Keep On Posting
Maybe this is a journal for myself so I'll come back and read
it whenever my ACC wants to take over. I can remind myself that being a writer/content creator/doctor/fitness instructor/musician/graphic designer has artistic elements to it and requires creativity rather than sticking to a set of rules.
I really hope I am not here writing to myself and someone takes this message with them as the information is reaching me.