You know, if you ever sat by a man you love, a husband, a father, a brother and saw him wince with pain or wriggle every few minutes, you will be able to tell what I am about to say. Benign prostate enlargement does not appear to be a foreign case in our homes. It is the silent, slow-paced invader that most family units in Nigeria have encountered and yet they hardly realize how or what it is called. And yet we women hardly ever say anything about it.
I heard women telling me that it is a thing of the men so let them deal with it. But, dear sister, can we go out of this when it is the same man who bids us safety, comforts us, and cheers us, who is in silent agony? Enlarged prostate is not his only battle, it is ours as well. And lest you think it is a mere trifle I will tell you it is enough to crack the stoutest man that you ever saw.
The prostate is a tiny gland which is the size of a walnut which stays dormant right under the bladder. It does its business most of the time that a man lives. However, with age especially above the age of 40 it is capable of swelling. Slowly. Quietly. It is this swelling that doctors refer to as Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). Benign refers to the fact that it is noncancerous. However, that word does not make it harmless--just watch out.
Initially, the symptoms are not too pronounced. He can begin to wake up several times during the night to pass urine. He can report lack of fluidity of urine passage or he might say he is still full up after emptying the gut. He can spend more time inside the bathroom and it is you who knocks, asking him or her whether he is Ok. And you may not think very much about it. But these are not the signs of normal aging, as so many people tell me, this may be prostate enlargement that is ready to knock at your door, sister.
The risk is that most Nigerian men do not discuss it. They interpret it as a weakness. Others hate hospitals. And they remain silent sufferers whilst their wives and daughters crowd around them passively, powerless and even not knowing the name of the man they are struggling against. One lady I once met narrated to me how her husband ceased travelling because he had a short experience when seated in a car and he had an acute urge to urinate. She just assumed that it was a matter of bladder weakness. Only when he collapsed one night they learned his urinary bladder was completely full to the dangerous level the blockage was not removed due to the enlarged prostate.
And the worst part of all--in case it is not treated, prostate enlargement may cause kidney damage. Yes, kidneys. Even these organs that filter the blood can be damaged only because a long period of time passed when a man was not able to pass urine properly. Just think about the torture of seeing the man you love the person who used to carry heavy sacks of rice with no problems sweating and stooping over in pain with his eyes full of shame due to a problem that could and should have been cured at an earlier stage.
And that is where we as females enter the picture. We have the role of being health gatekeepers of the home. We remind the children concerning their immunization. We take blood pressure of our parents. We can go ahead and push (delicately) our men into getting checked. It might not be a pleasant discussion but neither is watching them suffer afterward.
Some men would not like it. They could excuse themselves with a laugh or change the topic or say they are too busy. That is when the force of love comes to mind. It is not only the sweet love of the romantic words, but it is also the violent love which cannot allow someone you love to enter a dangerous place without seeing. Remind him that it is also strong to face the health problems early. Tell him a prostate check is not something weak men do-it is something wise men do.
Probably, you ask yourself this question: are prostate enlargement and prostate cancer one and the same? No. These are two different conditions, which other times may occur simultaneously. Here is the tricky part, however, initial symptoms might be reminiscent. It is due to this fact, that only medical checks may distinguish. Therefore, it can be lethal to fear going to the hospital, what would happen in case it is not only enlargement but also cancer?
I have encountered examples of men who did not treat it early enough hence requiring surgery before urinating again. I have also come across the people who caught it early and ended up leading full lives free of illness. It is mainly how quickly they were able to receive help that determines the difference between the two stories.
That is why today as you read this to the end and put it down I want you to call to mind that man you love best in this world. Visualize his smile, his voice, his calling your name. And then you have a question to answer: would you perhaps rather get on with having a hard talk now, or weep and regret afterwards having not said it?
Enlarged prostate is his fight but is also our collective struggle as women, sisters, daughters and wives. All right, let us smash the silence into it. We have to observe the indicators. Lets demand check-ups. Since on occasion a man's life starts and ends with a woman's voice saying, Please, go for that test.
And maybe the most significant thing you may not have known about prostate enlargement is this: It is not a death sentence. However, lack of information, ignorance, denial, and delay can make it be one.