There was so much noise and even worse pain as I slowly became aware of the voices. I swayed from side to side as I heard several gasps from what must have been the people surrounding me. There was shuffling and the calls of a doctor that sounded distant to my ears. I found this weird because why would I need a doctor? Didn’t I just go to sleep? What was wrong?
Maybe it was the tune that played softly in the background. Strangely, it reminded me of sadness and pain and death. Would someone turn the awful music down? I thought to myself. How long had I slept anyways and why didn’t this bed feel like mine?
“Oh, thank goodness! She’s awake.” My blurry eyes steadily cleared as the face of the owner of the voice swam into focus. It was a woman. A woman with a smile too bright to be anything but phoney. Why was she smiling so brightly and why was her face so dreadfully close to mine?
“Maddie? Maddie, are you alright? It’s me. Your mama.”
Maddie?
Mama?
Had I stepped into some kind of alternate universe? I glared at the woman in front of me, willing myself to speak but somehow the words wouldn't come out. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew for sure that this strange, phoney-smiled woman wasn’t my mother. And my name wasn’t Maddie either.
Wait, what was my name then?
I racked my brain to remember but was embraced with a pain so sharp, it was like my skull was on the verge of splitting.
Arrrgghh! I screamed, clutching my head frantically. But there wasn’t a sound. Why couldn’t I hear my voice? What was going on? A chill ran down my spine and I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. I looked up briefly to see the strange woman who claimed to be my mother with a panicky expression on her face. I’m guessing someone in the room must have called the doctor because a kind-looking man with a stethoscope came to my side.
I clawed at his arms to prevent him from injecting me with whatever it is he was holding. The painful throbbing in my head made my aim weak. I didn’t know why but I felt this pressing need to fight. I had no idea who these people were. They seemed kind but somehow that wasn’t okay.
With the blinding pain, I saw the doctor motion to some people and then I felt hands restraining me. My eyes bulged as the needle passed through me. Tears fell from my eyes as I made another effort to scream again but the dark spots were already increasing. Seconds later, the world slipped into nothingness.
I woke up to an empty room and was grateful for it. No weirdly-smiling wannabe mothers. No smiling doctors. Heck, it was wonderful to be free from the smiling crew. It was obvious now that I was in a hospital. But why? The throbbing in my head returned as I tried in vain things to hold on to the nonexistent thread of memories but I was determined to fight the pain this time.
The strange woman had called me Maddie, but it didn’t seem right. Where were my actual parents? Did I even have one? What was my name? Why couldn’t I remember anything? And why for goodness sake couldn’t I speak?! I hit the scaly hospital mattress in frustration as bitter, hot tears stung my eyelids. I tried calming down so the sting would go away and decided to stop my moping. I had to be rational. I had to figure out a plan. A plan to escape.
First, get yourself out of that miserable bed, I said to myself.
And so, I planted my dainty foot on the ground and tried standing up. My knees felt weak and wobbly and I promptly fell back down to the bed. But I was determined, and stood again, holding the bed railings for stability. I reached out to the white-washed walls and made my way to where I supposed was the bathroom.
I ambled to the sink and promptly began to wash my face. It felt smooth. Why did that feel weird? It sounded crazy but I Imagined my face to be bumpy with acne. But this was doll-like and even to the touch. I stilled suddenly, not even bothering to close the rushing tap. A sudden feeling of dread that made my blood run cold swept through me as I raised my face to look into the mirror above the sink.
I shouldn’t have worried earlier about my inability to speak because the scream came then. So loud and piercing, I knew I’d end up with shattered eardrums but that didn’t make me stop. Because the lady staring back at me wasn’t me. This flawless-skinned beauty couldn’t be me. I turned and met the strange woman from earlier, worry and fright etched on her face. But I didn’t think as I jumped at her, pounding her shoulders with my fist.
“What have you done to me??” I shrieked. But she was mute. She just let me hit her as tears ran down her face. I didn’t see the needle this time. I only felt the sharp pain and the looming face of the not-so-kind doctor from before as I slipped once again into oblivion.
To be continued....
