The day, even though I feel like a complete failure and full of self hate wasn't a failure. Was a first step in the right direction and I need to focus on this point. Things will get better and easier. And hopeful.
I dont expect to start being optimistic suddenly but I hope the optimism start showing his face more earlier than late. I could really use some of that hopefulness and self confidence, that kind kids have when doing a stick figure drawing and saying "I'm the greatest artist of our time"
...but while this doesn't happen I will try my best to focus my attention in the things and exercises i have to do, lwith enough luck they may distract me long enough for the days to appear shorter and faster.
Until tomorrow.