Hi, I'm Jamie.

Hi, I'm Amy Honey.

We're out here in Death Valley. Not for long. We're going to exit and get home to safety. But we're just going to quickly share with you the concept between are you looking for advice to support you in moving forward or are you looking for advice to support you in staying where you're at. A lot of the time, we'll have problems, concerns, issues. And we're like blah blah blah blah blah. Complain about it, and someone will go, "Hey, here's something you can do." And you're like, "Oh, you don't understand the problem." Actually, they do understand the problem. You don't want to change from having the problem. And we actually get addicted to having problems-

And it's not even that you don't want to change from having the problem. You want the problem to go away. But you don't want to do what's not comfortable to get rid of the problem. So we tend to just keep complaining over and over and over again, asking others for advice until we get advice that we're comfortable with doing. But that might not necessarily be the advice that's going to get us out of the situation.

That's right. We keep repeat ... if you find that you're repeating the problem to multiple people and nobody really understanding the problem, you're more than likely looking for someone to give you advice that fits your comfort zone.

Yes, absolutely.

But your comfort zone is known. It's the uncomfortable zone that is the unknown, the unexpected. And for you to have something different in your life, you need to step into that uncomfortable zone of the unknown and do something out of your comfort zone that's different to get a different result in your life.

Absolutely. They say sanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting-

Let's just do that over and over again.

A different-

What's insanity?

Insanity is expecting a different result.

Have you heard this?

Anyway. It's so funny because maybe you might hear of somebody else that does that all the time where they're complaining all the time to you about the same thing over and over again. And so a good question that we'll even ask each other is-

Absolutely.

Is Jamie and I have different ways of dealing with problems.

Oh boy.

So I'll ask how is the best way for me to support you right now. Is it understanding? Do you want understanding? Or do you want a solution? Because I'm a fixer. So-

That's right because Amy's been a personal trainer, support, counsel. Not support counsel. A consultant and a coach for 30 plus years. And she's the red personality or straight to the point. It's like, you got a problem. This is how you fix it. That's what she wants when she's helping somebody.

Yeah that's what I want when I go to somebody for advice. Let's not mess around with it. Just give me straight what do I need to do to fix this.

That's right. For example-

That's how I want to be coached.

Sometimes people want to be understood first. I just want you to understand what I'm going through. Feel that connection. And then we can work on fixing it. I just want you to know where I'm at first before you start giving me directions. It's like the GPS logging in. It's like you should go left and right. But you don't where I am yet, whether I should go left and right.

Which is really funny because when he comes to me with a problem, I immediately go to fixing it. But that's not how he likes to be coached. So-

Understanding how somebody likes to be coached is very important.

Yeah yeah.

So there are two questions you should ask. The question is I understand you're having a problem right now. How can I best support you? Do you want understanding or direction? Do you want understanding or solution?

And if you're complaining over and over again, maybe you're not quite willing to get out of your comfort zone with how to actually fix the issue or the problem. That's why coaches are good. That's why it's good to have a coach. If you look at anybody like Tiger Woods. He's one of the best golfers out there, but he still has a coach.

Every successful person has mentor and coaches. Every single one.

Absolutely.

If you want more success in your life, go get some mentor and coaches. And have someone that's succeeding more than you. Don't take advice from broke unhealthy people.

Or unhappy people.

Aw yeah. Broke, unhappy, unhealthy people aren't good mentors.

Absolutely.

Because their life's not heading in the right direction-

And are you commiserating and joining in on that or are you the solution to the problem?

That's another thing we'll talk about in another session-

Absolutely.

Is the difference between supporting someone and enabling someone. But for right now, just think, how much are you complaining, and how much are you celebrating.

Woo.

Woohoo. One person in Death Valley other than us. Wow.

We might get out of here.

Come back with water. Water?

My name's Amy Honey. I want you to lean on my belief in you until you believe in yourself.

Jamie Honey. Truth, integrity, fun. Let's have more of it in our life.

Do you DARE?

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.thehoneydare.com/does-complaining-give-you-results-the-honey-dare/

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