Retiring Wisconsin Teacher Admits Defecating in Park for 2 Years: Retiring Wisconsin English teacher Jeffrey S. Churchwell, has been arrested by local authorities on charges of defecating twice a day in a local public park for over two years, telling arresting police he was just “being an idiot” and that he did it “for convenience and to be disrespectful."
My gosh, he was defecating twice a day - right in the park? This guy’s obviously “full of it.” Now, I’m certainly not defending his actions, but it really sounds to me like this is a dude with a pretty serious bran muffin habit. Neighbors suspect his Cocker Spaniel’s been a bad influence on him. Whatever! Who knows, maybe President Trump will pardon him?
One thing’s for sure, you can bet his poor students are never gonna feel completely comfortable when he tells them they’ve gotta use a "Number 2 pencil” on their test.
Anyway, it’s probably a good thing he’s about to retire, because he’s obviously just flushed his teaching career right down the toilet. When asked about his retirement plans, he said “why, that’s pretty simple - I plan on buying a camper and visiting every National Park in the country.