I was smoking a joint the other day and I had a brilliant idea. I really hate visitors. I especially hate unannounced visitors. I got better things to do with my time than offering guests a cold beverage while they secretly judge me for my messy house. I hate cleaning. I'm not picking up those pizza boxes to make you happy with me. I hate small talk where I have to discuss the weather as idle chit chat while I'm silently wishing a person would leave so I can go back to watching TV.
I need a pet tiger.
I could erect a tall fence around my land and the tiger could roam free in the front yard. What better way to deter unwanted guests than a big ass tiger? I could get it as a cub and raise it myself so it would love me and I'd be safe roaming my land
Owning a tiger would be bad-ass... Much more manly than turning off all the lights and hiding in the bathroom when I hear knocks at the door.
Too bad big brother wouldn't allow it. Pretty sure there's a law preventing you from having tigers on your property. The neighbors would complain and the cops would be called. I could never afford a tiger anyways. It'd cost a pretty penny to feed a tiger and my extra cash is set aside for a trip to Vegas to see some showgirls and to do some gambling.