I Learned To Love My Body, And I Won't Back Down From That
Hello, my name is Linda, I am bisexual, and I have a story to tell you.
I’m in the third grade. It’s well in the fall. My friend and I were engaged in an intense game of tag. My friend—we’ll call her Junie— and I were definitely what’d you’d consider tomboys. We didn’t care if we had dresses, shorts, tights, or pants; we were always ready to rumble. I chase Junie to the top of our favorite hill, just out of sight of the teachers watching over us. Just when I thought had her, I find myself tumbling down the hill with Junie rolling along beside me. We get to the bottom, laughing our asses off as neither of us was seriously injured. “Why’d you push me?” I asked her, still laughing. “I don’t know. I’m sorry,” she giggled. I looked up at her. It was just then that I realized she was over me, and the next thing I know she kisses me. No grand introductions about it, just a simple kiss. However, before I can really process it, we hear our teacher’s whistle signaling the end of recess. We never talk about it again. And Junie moves away.
Fast forward, I’m in seventh grade. It is easily the worse stage of my development (If I could travel back in time, I would punch 12-year-old me in the face). That was the time when I used every derogatory word I knew like it was nothing, until I saw the commercial with Hillary Duff telling a girl off for calling a skirt “gay.” It resonated with me. That was the time when I watched nothing but MTV reality shows. One show in particular, The Real World: DC put things into perspective. It was the first time I heard the word “bisexual.” A cast member named Mike identified as bi which intrigued me, but I was immediately turned off to the idea when I saw how aggressive some of his housemates became when he wouldn’t comply with their demands to “just admit he was gay.” I pushed anything related to that out of my mind.
Fast forward again, and I’m now a high school senior. I have grown and learned. I have separated myself from my family’s mindset and taken steps to become an ally of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve been watching video on Upworthy trying to educate myself even more. One day during my Christmas break, I was just walking around my house when I stopped dead in my tracks and just went “Oh my god, I’M BI!!!”Thus began an uphill battle of coming out, reconciling my sexuality with my faith, and being disowned by certain family members.
I am a sophomore in college now, and I’m the Secretary of OUtlet, a group of LGBTQ+ students at Oglethorpe University. On Bi Visibility Day, I had the privilege of leading a lecture with the fellow bi members of our executive board in hopes educating the masses. None of this would be possible if I hadn’t learned to accept myself.
I’m proud to be bisexual because it is just as much a part of my identity as other events in my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood shaped and molded me into the person I am today. It was never I conscious choice I made- it’s just who I am. And just as I had to learn to love my body, I had to learn to love that part of me as well.