The seven straight forward recommendations on choosing a partner
1. Don't marry the person you think you can live with. Marry the one you can't live without. Marriage can be difficult even when two people are passionately in love with one another. It is hell when they don't have that foundation to build on.
2. Don't marry someone who has characteristics that you feel are intolerable. You many plan to change the him or her in the future, but that probably won't happen. Behavior runs in deep channels the were cut during childhood, and it is very difficult to alter them. In order to change a deeply ingrained pattern, you have to build a sturdy dam, dig another canal and reroute the river in the new direction. That effort is rarely successful over long haul. Therefore if you can't live with a characteristic that shows up or known to you in courtship, it may plague you for the rest of your life .
For example, a person who drinks every night is not likely to give up that habit after the honeymoon.
what you see is what you get of course, we all have flows, and I am not suggesting that a person should be perfect to be a candidate for marriage. Rather, my point is that you have to decide if you can tolerate a quirky behavior for the rest of your life because that's how long you may have to deal with it. If you can't, don't try at all because after you have said "I DO" I advise you keep your eyes wide open before your marriage and the half closed there after
3. Don't rush in to marriage! I can think of no better way to mess up your life than to leap into the critical decision without careful through prayer. Ps. 37:4. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." KJV. Because both parties put on their best face for the one they seek to attract.
4. If you are a deeply committed Christian, do not allow yourself to become "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever. (II Cor.6:14) you may expect to win your spouse to the Lord Jesus at some future date, and that seldom happens. But to count on it is risky plan of human. This question must be answered; just how critical is it that my husband (or wife) shares my faith?if it is essential and nonnegotiable, as the scripture tells us it should be for believers, then that matter should be given the highest priority in one's decision to marry.
5. Do not move in with a person before marriage. To do so is a bad idea for many reasons. 1st. It is immortal and a violation of God's law. 2nd, it undermines a relationship and leads often to devoice. Studies show that couples who live together before marriage have a 50% greater chance of devoice than those who don't based in 50years of data. Those who do that also have less satisfying and more unstable marriage (I Cor. 7:1). God's for every one concerned.
Making it as a family requires some characteristics that comes with maturity. Such as selfishness, stability and self-control, its best to wait for their arrival.
6. Don't marry too young. This who wed between 14 and 19 are twice as likely to devoice as couples than they that wait until their twenties. Making it as a family requires some characteristics that comes with maturity. Such as selfishness, stability and self-control, its best to wait for their arrival.
7. Finally. I'll conclude with the ultimate secret of life long love. Simply put, the stability of marriage is a by-product of an iron-willed determination to make it work. If you choose to marry, enter into that covenant with the resolve to remain committed to each other for life. Never threaten to leave your mate during angry moments. Don't allow yourself to consider even the possibility of divorce. Calling it quit must not become an option for those who want to go the distance.
If you confirm to these seven principles and if you are totally committed to your marital partner, your probabilities of living happily together for a lifetime is will be vastly improved. Again the scripture endorses the permanence of the material relationship saying , "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9)
Thanks for reading
