When I was fresh out of collage I had begun working in what, I believed at the time, would be my career. I had received my associate's in applied science for sign language interpreting and deaf education. I dedicated 4 years of my early twenties working as a life coach and Rehab specialist for people with physical and mental disabilities while also working heavily within the art community in the city of New Orleans.
This unusal combination would end up teaching me so many important things. I learned that the world didn't always operate in a manner that could be viewed as righteous. Being young and starry-eyed it took me quite some time to realize that the company by which I was employed wasn't truly devoted to the people it was supposed to be helping. By classification it was a non-profit and like so many nonprofits wasn't solely out to benefit it's cause but in actually was in the business of financial gain. Regardless of the unfortunate expense of our clients.
So many times I was pushed to prematurely close cases. In turn allowing my company to pocket a large portion of government funding provided for each client. To combat this, I would often work with clients and not report my hours for fear of having my client auctioned off to employees willing to "play the game". So Despite my company's advocacy towards, for all intents and purposes, could be labeled as morally bankrupt. I still had been able to genuinely close cases with a 98% success rate.
I felt somewhat better about what I was apart of and even though I took pride in the fact that I stood my moral ground. I had major issues with the fact that I was forced to be dishonest to be a good person and not to mention struggle financially. Coming out of pocket just to provide people with the help that they needed was an almost daily occurrence. So I begin actively seeking a far less corrupt environment where I could still fulfill my need to benefit Humanity.
Which leads me to my other greatest passion.
My passion as an artist.
This one runs deep in my veins and is a passion I come by honestly. I myself being just one of the many artists the fruit of my family tree would produce. It is through ART I was able to emotionally "deal" with the rude awakening and, dare I say, heartbreak that accompanied my Newfound understanding of the world. Learning Humanity could be so vastly unjust left me dealing with immense internal struggle. I had a true inability to understand how people could knowingly do such a disservice. Even worse still, willing sacrificing innocent individuals that truly needed help.
Now by this point I was spending every waking hour outside of work either in my studio or in venues attending / hosting art events. Regularly I was booked for gigs body painting and hosted paint parties where I had donated supplies that were free to use for anybody that desired to collaborate on the largest canvas I could afford.
With This lifestyle I often found myself walking throughout the streets of New Orleans. By which I would end up witnessing, what can only be described as, life on polar opposite sides of the spectrum.
On one side it was the most beautiful creative, positive, enjoyable, abundant, multifaceted representation of humanity that I still have yet to find a comparison to.
It embodies Southern Charm. Is home to endless examples of a vast variety of art forms and music. People are unjudgemental, hospitable, and extremely open minded. So many of which being intensely spiritual and giving. Every street the Laden with architecture that conveys nothing but class and abundance.
However on the other side of this metaphorical coin, If you're foolish enough to Walk the tourist attraction known as Bourbon St. dispite the presence of much the preferred local hubs. You will be instantly met with every form of decadence far less classy in manifestation. Where there is nothing but the overindulgence of alcohol, drugs, and lewd Behavior. Where often unsuspecting out-of-staters find themselves in extremely unfortunate situations. There is also tremendous poverty that is almost indescribable. Every overpass shelters countless souls of which mental illness runs rampant. And not to far a social cut above the homless, are those living in decrepit homes adorned with barred windows placed in the attempt to protect its ocupents against the massive amounts of crime. Even more so, dispite having over a decade come and gone, these buildings remain eerily painted with white X's cradling numbers. A depressingly symbolic representation of the Dead that were found within its walls following the wake of hurricane Katrina.
The pendulum swings dead center between these two realities. The brightest of Lights side by side a Darkness that is the blackest of pitch.
It was bearing witness to all of this what drove me.
By all of the good aspects of this city, I was inspired. humbled. Given an outlet incomparable to any other. Ironically through the negative I was given exactly the same things.
Just instead of being inspired by the art and fellow artists surrounding me at every turn I would also be inspired by those in need and their misfortune. Instead of being humbled by the grandeur and the beauty. I would also be humbled by those far less fortunate then myself. And instead of being given an outlet by the abundance of events, venues, and via those of like mind. I would also be given an outlet through the desperate need for individuals willing and able to make a difference.
Several things I began to do. One of the first being quiting my job. It was wonderful I could no longer benefit an institution that they prey on the weak. Which did wonders for my confidence and my overall sense of self. I started learning new methods in which I could benefit Humanity. I regularly scoured thrift stores to find articles of clothing a good quality that could be painted on. I would paint these with inspirational logos something in the realm of "One Step At A Time" I made shoes, shirts, jackets displaying positivity on it's lining. Then on particularly late evenings I would wait until dawn. And find individuals that knew the streets as their home. If I noticed they were without a jacket or had only one shoe I would ask them their size an offer an article out of my collection.
I had begun hosting a little art class for the special needs children I had come in contact with via my job and
I had started promoting the idea of establishing an institution that would teach art in all forms to the deaf every chance I was given. All In the hopes that I could find Grants and people in the right position to possibly make it a reality. I wanted it to have everything. sculpting, pottery, painting, drawing, even a theater program. Where instead of having a sign language interpreter stand at the end of the stage conveying what was said. In Place would be hearing person verbalizing what was seen.
In my mind it seemed flawless.
Such a small demographic having so few in which it was truly able to communicate was essentially isolated. Or at least from the majority of their peers.
What better form of expression, then through a visual expression.
Offering a method in which to touch those previously unreachable. Unfortunately it was never realized. The "red tape" involved in such an endeavor was far too much to get around. For the resources available anyway.
That did not negate the fact that through my art so many people had stopped and asked questions. Giving them pause and to actually desire to listen.
Through my art I have dealt with so much emotional struggle and turmoil giving me something to hold onto.
Something no one could ever take away.
Even when my art was in total lack of an audience it didn't matter. I still feel a sense of being whole.
So I suppose the point I'm trying to make clear here is...
that everyone should have something.
Whether it's art or writing or working-out.
WHATEVER it may be.
If its YOURS. It's something internal that doesn't need to be conveyed in the hopes that someone will listen.
It is something that subconsciously empowers you to be listened to.
And the best part about it.
Whether anyone does or not.
WHO you are...
What you are.
Well...
THAT is absolutely enough.
