I fucked up.
And not in the "you'll be OK in a few, mate" kind of way.
I fucked up massively and, for quite a while, I had no idea if things were going to be OK ever again.
There were times where I'd wake up in the middle of the night with a single thought screaming through my mind.
What the fuck have you done!?
I'd lie there, thinking of everything I once had, remembering the insanity that lead me here, and wondering if it was only going to get worse.
Of course it got worse.
As time went on, my desperation grew. I tried everything. All I wanted was to see some light at the end of the tunnel. But it never came.
Fuck it. I'm done. I give up.
This was probably the smartest thought that had crossed my mind in at least a year. And the admission of failure helped lead to where I am now.
And while I'm no where near where I need to be, I can see the light. Things aren't quite so dark now. But I'm not yet out of the darkness. There's still a lot of work to do.
And I'll document my journey here on this blog.
You're no doubt wondering what I did that took me to such a dark place. Well, it's a long story, so I'll break it up into a few posts so make it more digestible.
The short story is that I bought a business that ultimately failed. But the longer story is what caused me to buy the business which is a story in itself. And then there's how this business and its subsequent failure impacted on every single aspect of my life. Here's a short list:
- my wife very nearly left me
- my mental and physical health was destroyed
- my finances are in tatters
- and I'm left feeling like an utter failure
But this blog isn't all about how my life ended up in ruins. It is in fact a blog that is designed to be positive and helpful to those who are in need of help and constructive advice. Through this blog I will document the steps that I have and am taking in order to recover from the utter failure that my life was less than 12 months ago.
And the title of the blog is the goal that I have set myself.
I plan to be debt free in 2 years or less. And more than that, I plan to have repaired all of the aspects of my life that suffered as a result of my business failure. The key aspects being my health (both physical and mental) and, more importantly, my relationship with my wife, who is the most patient and loving soul that I have ever known.
You are more than welcome to join me on this journey.