Have you ever been in a situation where you think you can't find hope? Have you ever been struggling in your life?
Do you ever feel like you were born in a wrong era? You're not happy anymore, you always feel empty like something is always missing. You abandon yourself unintentionally or unknowingly because you’re striving for perfection or others’ approval. You're always feeling unsuccessful and your relationships are unfulfilling. You don't want to talk to anyone. You feel like your life has come to it's end and you're getting depressed day by day. You're not alone! I've also battled depression and there are a couple of different things I’ve found useful.
Allow me to share with you a bit of my life's story.
I was born into a broken family. My mother left me when I was still little. I was a year and 2 months old that time. I never got to have a chance to see my father. My mother left me in the forest and fortunately I was found by grandma's sister. To make the story short, I returned home and lived in grandmother's house.
I can say grandma loved me so much but that doesn't satisfy me. I always feel empty, longing for something I thought I couldn't have, dreaming for something I know couldn't be. I long for family, love and self love. I got jealous whenever I saw a family of happy people who all loved each other and longed to be together. I hated seeing families laughing as they gathered around, smiling at each other and paying attention to each other. That made me hate Christmas celebration, birthdays and family bonding.
And when I was about 12 years old, i started smoking, drinking Alcoholic drinks, and engage myself into immoral and wicked behavior. I feel i don't have hope and I am worried about my future. A couple of times i wanted to commit suicide but unfortunately my friends always caught me whenever I'm on my way to suicide.
And it came to a point in my life that I questioned God "Why did he brought me into a poor and most of all a broken family? If I am to choose, I want to be born in a rich family, maybe it doesn't matter if it was a broken family but at least I have much money, than to have none at all.
One day, I was invited into a Church Fellowship. I agreed going with them because I know there will be lots of foods there. But I ended up receiving a message in my life that caught my attention. The Preacher quote a message from John 15:16 that says, " You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you. At that very moment, I understand that there is God who appointed me to where I belong. That's why I trust my life now to God who gives freedom. I am now free from being broken, free from depression, free from alcohol addiction, smoking addiction and from any other immoral behavior.
I understand that the situation I am in is not my problem, because God knows the best for me. Do not regret anything in life. That may be a difficult for you, that may be painful, you're not Alone! God will never leave you. You may not feel Him at all times but His love and goodness never fail. Just let go, and let God be your partner.
God Bless you Steemians! Good day!
By the way this is my first post here. I hope you'll support me. Thank you! love you all!