Greetings. We are Mission Control, responsible for the oversight and advancement of the human race. Due to recent week leadership we are afraid that the world has gone slightly downhill. What has essentially happened is that a powerful faction of our organisation got a bit to greedy – assisting a group of corrupt or incompetent politicians. Unfortunately we are still working on removing these politicians – although we assure you that the mutineers have been tended to and are no longer capable of being a threat (don't worry, we haven't killed them). Ordinarily such a faction would never be able to take control like that, however we were having financial problems (it's tricky trying to hide trillions of dollars – after all there is only so much Bitcoin in the world) and our leadership had grown complacent. Now we are back on our journey to success, but this time we will not hide in the shadows. No, this time we will do it better.
We would like to quickly sum up some of the events that this rival faction implemented.
- Brexit. An attempt to create confusion, and distract everyone's attention whilst they made off with a lot of (now recovered) money. However it has caused a big divide in the UK
- Trump. We were surprised to find out how crude its programming is, bearing in mind he can't actually carry anything through – and we're watching the Trump accounts for unexpected deposits.
We are currently working on a solution and any suggestions are appreciated.