After reading your post - which i feel is written from your heart - i would like to give you some advice. You should learn not to take everything so serious. Don't think about every interaction with people as the people really don't think about it. Realize what's in your had exists only in your head and taking this so serious gives your unnecessary thoughts so much power that you start to act on that. You are in the way of yourself.
And if you feel silly sometimes because you said something stupid in your eyes, then learn to forgive yourself and stop thinking about it over and over. Nobody is perfect ;) . I'm sure you are an awesome person so let your light shine - be you - and don't think you are wrong :)
RE: Today I realized I have social anxiety.