Have you ever looked into the mirror and wished you were just someone else? because I did. It is hard to love your flaws or accept them wholeheartedly from time to time.
So let me ask you this!
How do you breakup with yourself? How do you forgive you? and How do you NOT hate yourself for causing too much trouble and for making the same mistakes over and over again.
The answer is simple, you just can’t! You have to live with you for the rest of your life. Therefore, Start loving you. The beauty about life is, you get to correct your mistakes until you get it right. So here I am, rewriting my heart out once again.
Hi I am Aireen! Nice to meet you!
The person behind this post is ultimately careless, clumsy and forgetful. Let me give you an example.
2 months ago, I created a blog post, which I love so dearly. 6 days after that, I realized I had lost all my keys for some reason. What a bummer! I had exhausted myself trying to recover the longest password ever created but I had no luck. So I decided to just make a new one. Heart breaking! but why am I not even surprised? because I am me and scenarios like these are bound to happen to Aireen. Don’t you just love how imperfect a person can be? I feel like I am a walking disaster waiting to happen.
To my obsession of becoming a better person, I have internalized and dissected the reasons why I am who I am and realized that all of my positive and negative traits stem out from so many factors but mostly the environment I lived in and of course from my parents and how I was raised as a child.
When I was a kid, my mom did everything for me. She babied me most of the time. When I had big problems coming my way, my dad has already solved it for me. They pretty much did the dirty work for me. I won’t even deny that I on the other hand, enjoyed the stress free, comfortable life they had laid out for their youngest baby. But just like any other story, life is not always a bed of roses because reality kicked in quickly and I was left helpless and tormented plus alone in a foreign faraway land.
My reality started to happen when I left Cebu, Philippines to live in America. No parents, No siblings, No one but me. I first thought of it as an adventure. It was more like an entrance to a better and much more colorful life but to my surprise, it was not what I expected it to be. The first 3 years were terrible. It was then when I realize and saw how circumstances can be so cruel. My stormproof bubble was gone and I am left unarmed against the harshness of this world. From that pampered youngest child, I became an adult within just a few months. My transformation was difficult and abrupt. That was because I was left with no choice but to grow up as quickly as I could to survive. From then on, I knew my life will never be the same as it was before.
You know what they say, “you gotta do what you have to do.” Life goes on, and it won’t stop just because you have cried buckets and buckets of tears. No one is going to save you now. Just you!
For most of you who haven’t read my first blog, welcome to my world. I am born and raised in the Philippines but is now a permanent resident in America as we speak. I wish I can introduce and describe myself with 100% confidence to all of my readers but at this point in time, I still cannot. This is because my life is ever changing. Every place I go to, somehow changed my perspective, my attitude, character and outlook in life. It’s crazy but that is true. The Aireen who lived in Cebu is different from the Aireen who lived in Manila. She is a totally different person by the time she lived in America. So, I guess you have to stay tuned on every blog I post to really get to know me.
For starters, I just got married recently. My husband and I are in a long distance relationship. 6 years together 4 years apart.I have no clue how we managed, but all I know is it is not easy. Maybe as you get to know me, you will find out how we manage to survive as a couple amidst the distance. And I’m hoping that one day I will be writing about both of us living in the same place together finally.
Career wise, I am a medical Lab Scientist, a profession not as famous as nurses and doctors but I do work in the hospital. My job is stressful but fulfilling. Challenging yet boring. I’m still in that phase where I am discovering and trying to love the work that I do. I have been working in the medical field for 6 yrs now but still is unsure of my feelings for my chosen profession. Especially during the pandemic, this was the peak of my tag of war emotions with my career. I felt like I want to give up and just jump ship. You know, find another job be happy and marry but I always find myself coming back to where I started. It sucks when you don’t have the answers laid out for you. You end up tossing and turning only to find out that you are still at the same place where you are in. I am in constant search for meaning and purpose but as of now, I am obligated to hang in there tight.
It’s funny how a blog post can strip someone so naked by just the first post she is making because the truth is, you don’t really introduce yourself like this to someone you just met. A simple “hi! how are you? What is your name? What do you do?” Is the norm but now because of social media I feel like I am talking to a best friend I have never met. Opening up insecurities and obstacles I hate to share to a stranger I just met. But hey, welcome to my life I guess? I hope we’ll get to know more about each other as days and months go by.
If you wanna know more about me, please do check my first epic fail account @whimsicalsoul and read my original heartwarming introduction. I am super excited because, here is so much stories to tell and pictures to show you. Let me take you with me as I travel the world and discover my deepest and truest self one post at a time. So, Laugh with me and enjoy the ride as we unravel the wonders of life together.
Aireen is a citizen of the world. She lives in America and in the Philippines. She is much more than the number of stamps in her passport because her pursuit of happiness is not about acquiring things, it is about exploring life. Join her as you peek into her life’s snakes and ladders adventure but most importantly, talk to her because she wants to connect with different people with different walks of life.
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