I grow in a place where mountains shall be climbed in their highest form. A place where the ocean shall be swim in its deepest form.
Above or below the ground, I sprout like a rose that makes its way into the world. But in my rise, I have made changes in my growth that will hurt you like a blade that has been sharpened. I have thorns that I carry with me, but still, I stand up with my past behind my back and my present in my eyes.
I am Maria Flores. Maria is not my name, but she is close to my heart. Flores is my name, which means flower.
When I was young, there was never a month that I would not get sick. I have been fighting for my mornings and getting comfort in the evening. However, as I grew older, my mornings became my evenings. And when I thought everything had ended, a new beginning had awakened. And this life is the beginning of the end.
So, who am I, really?
I am Filipina with curly hair whose passion is writing to escape the prejudices of society. I shake in fear, but in fear, I found my courage, my hope, and my strength that I shall live with constant backseat and failure but rise with the greatness of every sunrise that shall come for me to see its undying beauty made by our Creator.
That's why I joined HIVE. To see how my passion will ignite once more and how this passion will be of help to others. I have been writing with no sense of its purpose in the world, and that feeling always makes me back out of the world of words. Hive is a platform that gave me a chance to see how my writing would last in its light. To see if I can be brave for the world I have to explore and to see if I can live following my passion for writing. Never have I ever thought that I would hear HIVE because I never would have thought that I would willingly join one.
Give and Take: My Contribution
To give you the exploration of the world I see in dreams or in reality, you give me the hope of slowly igniting my lost passion. And for that, I will always be thankful.
Hive, the platform that I never expected to meet, was introduced to me by a fellow Hive aspirant who's also passionate about making a positive change in the world. She is none other than Mrs. Rica M. Roble, a woman who is an advocate for change and has been the backbone for filling hope in others, and she's also my aunt.
And to end my introduction is the beginning of this life's greatest story. So, let's delve into my past.
The Past
I was born and raised in the Philippines. I have a home where I grew up for 19 years. A home that feels none other than any other place I've ever been. A home that protected me from any adversity that life gives. But that home was slowly shattered and has slowly turned into such dust that I can no longer patch it or hold it.
It is a home that I have to outgrow because it is no longer a home but a place where I used to smile, cry, and love while being who I really am. A place that I used to call home and a place that only resides in my memories. I have to leave it because it is no longer providing security for my family. Our home became a reason for our apparent pain. It became a reason for us to see people's intentions toward us. It became a reason for families to grow apart and fall into their lowest yet strange state. Yet, I would have never thought that my home, my place, would cause such disaster and disappointment.
The Past: If Only
There are many times in my waking state where I wonder what life could have been if only people could make their kindness greater than their insecurities, their generosity greater than their jealousy, and their love greater than hate. But I realize that it is only life's greatest "if only" because reality is much different, messier, and more complicated.
The Past: Growth
Any flower will stumble on a drought that gives them no hope of tomorrow's sunrise. However, if there's no drought, people will never learn to find light amidst the darkness. That's why,
In my sadness, I found happiness.
In my anger, I found calmness.
In my hatred, I found love.
And in my flaws, I found beauty.
-Maria_Flores
The Past: Flores
Just like a flower, I will grow. Even in the thorns I wear (the thorn of a rose), my inner self will never reflect people's vision of me. I am myself, and in me, I shall seek the beauty of kindness, the smell of generosity, and the visual of love.
It is said that rainbows are worth the rain and the beauty of flowers is worth the wait. Hence, in life, success makes it more meaningful if the process of that success includes hard work and perseverance. If a home is no longer serving you like a home should, then leave. Growth happens when you take a risk and leave your comfort zone. And your “if only" are not a testament to your vision for the future because they reflect your inability to make it a reality.
My writing is always complicated because it reflects how my life has been for all the years I have lived. And I love it. As complicated as it seems, but I am God's warrior. In Him, I follow and serve.
The End
January 20, 2024, is how I truly met HIVE, and it amazes me to see how many writers out there in the world are sharing their platforms and passions. And it feels like there is a string that also pulls me towards entering HIVE. And right now, in this journey I set for myself, I hope I can be of help to others as I share my journey in dreams or reality.