aspired to be a Muslim. I didn't even want to be a Christian. The whole concept of 'organized religion' was distasteful. I sought to use my mind.. not resort to some ancient book for assistance in living my life. If you had offered me millions of dollars to join faith or another, I would have declined. One of my preferred authors was Bertrand Russell, who maintained that religion is little more than superstition and generally harmful to people. He believed the religious outlook served to inhibit knowledge and promote fear independency.. in addition to being accountable for much of our world's wars.
I remember laughing out loud while reading ''hey, is that you God'' by dr. Pasqual, in which he derided the concept of God through satirical dialogue. It all seemed so logical. thinkers like us were surely above religious devotees. I thought smugly. I wanted to systematically prove religions were no more than a hoax. I purposefully set out to do just that yet, Here I am Muslim. Sure, I made the declaration of faith' but the choice I had was really no choice at all. essentially, I was compelled, forced to accept Islam.
Interestingly in my talks with followers of religions especially those other than Islam. I have often noticed that they clearly desire to believe as if no matter how many contradictions or errors are pointed out in the scriptures. They brush them aside and maintain their unquestioning faith. Rarely do I ever find that the scriptures themselves convinced them but rather they decided to have faith and then the studies began after that decision, if at all..
They knew what they believed, either by having been raised upon it, or like a friend of mine told me: ''Islam Seems Foreign'' so I never looked into it. Personally I never considered myself to be seeking God but if I had the last place I think I would