Hello Steemians! Greetings!
Today is the 31st of May, which is a new day as well as it's born. But I just feel that the holy spirit touches me to write out something I really want to appreciate and evaluate for the rest of my life, and I don't want to wait for later or tomorrow to write this post as the inspiration doesn't last long, opportunity flies if we don't catch the wind. Although I might have a bit unsure or wrong things written, but it doesn't matter how good is it but it matters to me how blessed it is to me, so hope it blesses you just as how I am.
So, guess what I am going to share about? This is part of the situation / circumstances that had happened in my life that is to be testify His glory and something worth to celebrate of.
This season, as my university life goes on in Miri, Sarawak. I have been attending and being committed to a church called "Cornerstone", where I've been in tune with Saturdays Youth service and Fridays Tertiary cell group night.
Furthermore, just in these few days they are having a youth camp, camp Dominate. I only get to attend the night sessions these few days as I were busying in classes and assignments. But it has never a regret to go for every night session.
First night,
Pastor Isaac Ong, the guest speaker who passionately spoke up about what does it really mean to be the child of God, is that we does not live by carrying our own names, but is by carrying the name of Jesus, because with Him, we can only be shameless, humble, and fearless.
If God has an instagram account, how many followers will He have and how many will He be following? Because He cares about each and every one of you, He would have way more that He is following than the number of followers.
Second night,
Pastor Joseph Ong, the another guest speaker who is filled with flames and anointing to spoke about people are being caught up in being competitive, comparison, or perfection to satisfy ourselves. But no matter what, learn to submit whatever things we facing unto the Lord.
After that, the altar call happened where we pray for those people who are in depression and suffering to suicide that God is going to heal them all. And when that going on, others we prayed for each other in the areas where we don't want to compare ourselves in life, no complaint.... As for me, I felt that I've been dry in Him, and I want to see breakthrough and being repaired and restored in Him, I prayed and think about Him sincerely. Then, one guy came to me and prayed to me, there's a word he said, "I felt that God wants me to tell you this, you might have did a lot of things with passion by serving Him and it might sometimes no one sees or understand you, but God say he sees it, and He wants me to tell you that He loves you so so much!". Then, I was so touched by that word and it encouraged me.
Then, I believe its not just a coincidence, that I met another guy to prayed for, I shared to Him what has happened in me since last year until now, after he prayed for me, he starts sharing his testimony and it really relates to me and his story is the same as what I'm going through. This is not just a coincidence I believe, and I believe the breakthrough is near.
Third night,
Pastor Isaac Ong again shared about God can turn every situation around. A lot of times we tended to think that why God isn't working in our life. Let me give you an illustration, maybe its like this, we might have shop a lot of groceries (God's words) in the groceries store, but when you proceed to checkout (paying), did you remember to bring it home or you just leave it (as the promises) there? Or did you checkout and bring it home but tried on it or just leave it on a dinning table?
(2 Kings 4:1-7)
Don't be the one that only look for more cup and cup but inside contains nothing, empty your cup and allow God to fill in you cup more and more. And a lot of times we, including me tended to think that my cup is full then it's enough already. But it's always never enough to be but receive more and more of Him till it overflows, till you can't contain that others have to contain as well
He shared his personal experience on singing the voice, how he inspired people and change circumstances around with His voice and what God has instored for him.
Watch on YouTube
First Audition
Final
At this moment, I was starting to ponder this on my life, what kind of life I have been living for the whole 18 years here. It is when Pastor Sabrina shared the story in the altar call, a 15 years old girl she met, was riding a motorbike into the kampung area with the passionate hearts to share the gospel to the people, but during the journey she go there, a car accident taken during that, little part of her face is now disfigured forever just because of that. But, she had never give up to be there to reach out to the people just because of the accident happened, because nothing that the devils try to tempt and hurt her can stop her doing what God has for the people through her.
After that, when they show the video out of how passionate and hungry the Indonesia church people are panting for God, just a word spoken "Fire" over that place, the whole people being touch by the holy spirit. And thus, look at our country, look at myself, what am I even freaking doing in our life and I even asked myself did I worship Him all the times? I didn't. Am I a real Christian that is living a life for Him not for myself? NO, I Didn't!
From that moment onward, there is an altar call for us to respond to the Lord, to bow down in His presence and fully surrendered to Him, and receive His rain over us. From that then, I feel the strong sense of urge in my heart as my heart beat's speed is increasing, I've decided to run to the altar after the count of 3 by Ps Sabrina. I began to cry out to the Lord, kneel unto Him and with my hands surrendered to Him. During that time, I feel so sad and regrets as I reflects on my own life, lying, lazy, caught up in the trends, did not honor parents, neglected the youth and community God has put me in for, sometimes being so fake to Him, don't dare to live out a fully Christian lifestyle because of peer pressure and shame, don't want to do devotion, don't honor God in worship sometimes by thinking other stuffs, not trusting Him all the times, why has the devil working in me without me even realizing until now??
THAT'S ENOUGH! The moment I felt regret and sad, I keep on mourning to God about that and I keep on lean in to Him with conviction. I feel so sad that there are people actually doesn't care about what happens be it in good or bad, but just do what God wants them to do. But look at me, what am I doing? What am I getting satisfied for? What life am I living for?
As I keep mourning, few leaders walked by and came and laid hands on me and prayed for me. That moment when he praying to me, I feel the strong sense of hotness in me, I knew that is the Holy Spirit falls, and so I responded to it. Then, I don't know why and I don't care about how other people thinks of me, tears began to drop out more heavy like cendol. I feel a lot of sadness, a lot of undeserved, a lot of unrighteous things happened in our nation, feel so sad why didn't I walk with God closely, then another word struck into my mind "TRUST", and I have to admit that I did not put fully trust in Him as sometimes I trust Him half heart, although I acknowledge and say want to walk closely and trust Him, but I still didn't open the doors of my heart to Him and I did not really trust Him, why, why why.... I kept on insulting myself.
Related song in my mind: I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still you give yourself away
Then, as the flow goes to another level, people starting to walk to the front and pray for the nation and pray for the youth. Most likely praying about we don't wanna care about any single things that is stopping us to walk closely with Him, in Jesus name pray that walls will come down. And pray that God take away our pride and shame as we don't want to live life that is by our name, that we want to forget our names and our past, to live by the name, JESUS!
Related song in my mind: This is my desire to honor you, I want to give you my heart and soul
Another pail of tears came out as then I slowly shift to the posture of lying down, This is because I feel a sense of warmness in me, felt like there is someone hugging me, in a bit later I sense of picture in my mind that I am a infant, that look like I am lost and orphan kind of thing, and God's hand is so big that his hand hugging me up and covered me. By then I confirmed that it must be the presence of God! It must be Him! And the whole moments I have not stop but just mourning and lying down in enjoying His presence. It was so good!
Related song in my mind: The cry of my heart, is to be where you are
Overall, I just learnt that I need to trust in God tightly and walk closely with Him without the devil stopping me, there will be a lot of temptation going trhough, but Jesus is the greatest, living by His name, His name! Jesus, is bigger than the problem, "just the mention of His name, every chain will break". Just call out His name, the devils will straight being afraid and quickly run far away.
I don't know and I'm not sure if these things I've said will be good or bad or not, but I doesn't care about it, because I just want to make this as my journal between me and God. And if those of you sees this, I hope it blessed you in many ways it could be.
God is more than a feeling, more than a goose bumps, more than a situation, His real presence and His words is the only one we need than all things. I don't need just a feelings, but all I need is you come into my hearts, Your spirit move in me. Though I don't deserve anything, God you give your son "Jesus" away just to cover our sins and shames, you wore all our weaknesses to give us new life, a new start. I can't write to thank you enough, but what I can do is to offer my life into you hands, thank you for bringing me into this world and knowing that you are the victory, you are the king of kings. May I continue to pray and seek first you kingdom and righteousness, may I keep my love relationship with you as just more than human love relationship can be, and to have dating with you more, love you, in Jesus name, AMEN!
I LOVE YOU DADDY GOD!