Being a victim of lack of self-worth for many years I know the pain of attracting the wrong people into our lives. Very often we don’t realise that we have a lack of self-worth and chose or attract people who don’t treat us in the way we want to be treated. We settle for abusive relationships because we are “inlove” and hope the person will change. We start looking the other way more and more, no matter how bad the abuse or bad treatment becomes.
We often settle for less than we deserve because we are so happy to just have someone show us a little affection or love, that even when they do treat us in a way that we don’t deserve, we accept that.
Maybe he/she will change! Maybe they will realise I’m a good person and love me more or treat me better one day!
Until we stop looking outside of ourselves for the love and the happiness we deserve, this cycle of attracting the wrong people will continue, and even if we manage to attract a good person into our lives, we will allow our lack of self-worth to destroy that relationship.
Looking inside isn’t always an easy thing to do, but truly a worthwhile process. What we need to understand is that this feeling of worthlessness and not accepting the person we are is a pattern that we have inherited or a learned behavior from being treated in an unacceptable way.
What we need to do is stop looking for happiness elsewhere and start with ourselves. Start by removing the traits that you see within yourself that you find undesirable behavior and replace those with better characteristics.
Understand and know that everything that you need already exists within you. Learn to love yourself by taking care of and respecting the body that you have. Eat well, exercise and start loving and appreciating the body that you were gifted with. If you see something you don’t like, change it.
If your overweight and you feel overwhelmed and or ugly, promise yourself to lose weight. Similarly, if your underweight and feel unattractive, make a concerted effort to start taking good care of your health. This in itself will make you feel so much more confident and boost your happiness level.
When you start taking care of your body the same way you would for a loved one or your child, you slowly but surely start loving who you are.
Take on challenges, become self-dependent, educate yourself. Do whatever it takes to start building up your self-confidence. Always challenge yourself with achieving the best results of whatever you do, this will show you that you can achieve things, if only you attempt to try and even if you fail, remember you are human and not everybody is good or great at everything, SO WHAT, find something that you are good and, and accept that.
Start saying NO MORE to bad behavior from others, even if you’re scared to speak up at first, but know that you are WORTH IT and you are ENOUGH and that the more you say NO MORE and the more you stand up for yourself the easier it will become.
Yes you will be afraid to loose certain people and or friends from your life, but know that that is OK, because somebody that truly loves you, will never hurt you or cause you pain or even make you feel less of a person. So getting rid of those people is ultimately a good thing.
Once these people start leaving your life, you will start feeling more and more empowered because you learnt to say NO MORE and you will end up totally refusing people who treat you in a way that you don’t deserve.
Your life will start shifting and you will start attracting better people into your life. People who truly love you for the person you are and treat you in the way you want to be treated.
The point is, KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENOUG and that you DESERVE BETTER, no matter who you are.
Learning to love your self is a truly liberating, beautiful experience. One of self-empowerment you cannot even imagine until you feel it. You will feel fulfilled even when you’re alone. You will be confident and unaffected by stupid comments from other people.
You will KNOW that whatever they are saying to you, DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL. When you feel this self-love within yourself, your beauty will shine right through and even if you don’t look like a movie star, you will still feel like one and everybody that sees and knows you will see that beauty radiating from within.