They are pushing; sex, drugs, violence, and fear porn. The maze that the rats run has fewer traps and more simple gratuitous rewards. Whether you believe the narrative or not, focus on that narrative is going to lead to nowhere fast. If you listen carefully, the knew weigh makes more sense every day.
Energy put into repair is drained into a black hole. Much better to distract yourself by priming your pumps and whetting your whistle. Look deeper into what you know with fresh eyes and ears. Watching and listening are the two simple skills toward discernment. Immersion is doc's favorite modality of learning. Tripod does not concur.
The trick is to be detached from the results of your actions. Be gentle with yourself as you learn to role play you in every situation that you can imagine. You need to feed your ego one weigh or another; pick a skill set that you wish to have and start doing it, with care, caution and good mentorship.
Believing a lie is not a moral flaw. If you don't know what you want, you will never get it. You can sense truth; do not allow other people to talk you out of your comprehension. On the other hand, when they speak truth that you know is true, it becomes your obligation to set it straight with the rest of your reality.
Doc
PS The cat in the photo is a stand-in for Tripod, taken from the net.