Is being lonely & being a loner the same thing?'
Nope, 2 completely different things.
And understanding the difference will allow you to understand which boat you fall in.
Lonely is when you feel like no one cares about you or don't have a squad to chill with.
A Loner is someone who prefers their own company & doesn't give a fuck if they have a squad or not.
Just to give you an analogy, picture this:
Tim wants a girlfriend, but can't seem to find one. Joe doesn't want a girlfriend because he's too busy focusing on his career.
Both have similar outcomes, no girlfriends. But the reasons behind the outcomes are different.
Today, we will be delving into the loner.
Very intriguing character in the social dynamics world.
Humans are social creatures to the core, so why is the loner not social?
It's because you are not born with the loner mindset, it is developed.
A loner is born thru a few possible ways. Here are a few:
They were betrayed many times in their past.
They find humans to be dramatic & not worth the hassle.
They have been taking care of business by themselves since a young age
These are just 3 of many reasons out there.
'Are loner's unconfident?'
Many are, sure. But believe it or not, many are hella confident.
They are so confident to a point where they find it laughable that they would be wasting their time on other flawed creatures, when they could be hustling.
So a loner could be highly unconfident, or highly confident. Haven't met too many in the middle ground.
Now the moment of truth, is being a loner a bad thing?
I'm a firm believer in everyone having their own unique monk mode moment.
Monk mode is when you strategically isolate yourself to 10x yourself.
A powerful tactic in the self improvement world to eliminate distractions & build momentum.
So I do think strategic spurts of being a loner can give you an edge.
But note! I said spurts.
The reason I said spurts is because you don't want to make being a loner a lifestyle.
There's a huge different from doing it for 3 months and doing it for 3 years.
When you adopt the life of a loner for too long, you begin to rewire your reality. You cut off the ability to make social connections, social assets & meaningful experiences.
In today's world, there are more loner's than ever.
Youtube, TV, Netflix, Game of Thrones are becoming peoples safe haven. Nothing with watching it to unwind. But when you use entertainment to replace people, then Houston, we got a problem!
So I urge you to fix your mindset.
Here's how....
- In order to stop being a loner, you need to understand that many people go thru the phase.
Once you digest that, you will snap out of denial mode.
Ex: 'Who me?? I'm no loner' crazy eyes
Yea I'm looking at you. You deny things when you think you are the only one going thru it. But when you realize there are many others like you, you don't feel as ashamed.
- Once you have snapped out of denial mode, you need to get into acknowledgment mode.
Even if you find it hard to, find 3 reasons why you should be more social.
Brainstorm for a while.
You'll probably list more than 3, and that's fine.
But once you are done with your list, narrow it down to 3.
- After that, I want you to adopt the small circle over big circle mindset.
Many loners think that being social comes down to having a huge circle.
Wrong!
If you've been following me for a while, then you know I do not advocate for that.
Just aim to build 3-5 solid friends that you can talk to whenever. Make sure they are loyal, help you become your best self & have a life purpose for themselves.
'Can I include family members there too?'
Yep!
Once you have a CORE friend group of 3-5 solid friends, then you are good to go in my eyes.
So just a recap:
Break out of denial mode.
Enter acknowledgment mode by building a list of 3 reasons why you should be social.
Build 3-5 loyal friends. Refer to step 2 when you feel discouraged.
That's it!
If you build a core group of friends who fit your values, then you won't find humans annoying.
You'll notice they bring a special sense of joy into your life.
But build a big circle full of nonsense & drama starters for the sake of being 'popular' then you'll find humans annoying.
Choice is yours!
PS: Please delegate 10SP , will take 30 seconds.
Hustle Hacker 💲 💲 💲