Speaking is probably the easiest thing you can do, but to speak in a way that people would want to listen to, is definitely one of the hardest things. In fact, speaking is the reason why we have problems in the first place, starting from a simple conflict between two people that might end up with a break up, to an argument between politicians that might end up in a war. That’s why mastering the art of communication is probably the best thing you can do. So, lets talk about the 2 rules that you should follow so people will certainly listen to what you have to say.
First of all, chose the right time and the right place. How often do you talk about serious topics during dinner when everyone had a long day and all they want is to relax. Or criticize a friend in front of others when you’re hanging out with them? Speaking is so easy that we do not consider it as a special activity that we have to plan and prepare for, and thats why we mostly end up doing it in the wrong time and the wrong place. When someone is angry or had a bad day, it’s not the time to criticize them because that will only lead to an argument and won’t result in anything good. Next time, you want to make a joke or raise an important question, ask yourself if NOW is the right time to do that. Secondly, know what you’re going to bring up for discussion and why, and there are 3 steps to it. First ask yourself, what should the other person know after the conversation and why? If you can’t summarize your message into a single sentence, then you shouldn’t start the conversation in the first place because the person you are talking to will probably misunderstand you!
Secondly, what should they feel after the conversation? What kind of emotions do you want him to experience? Do you want him to feel sad, happy, angry, inspired? Have you ever considered this before talking to someone? If you want your message to be understood clearly, you have to be very careful with his or her emotions! Thirdly, what action do you want him to take after the conversation? Help you out, change his behavior or do you want them to simply take action? The problem is that we often throw out words without a specific purpose, so they ruin the entire conversation. By applying these 2 rules, you will find more people listening to you. You will avoid countless number of unnecessary arguments and conflicts.