A few years ago, I watched a family I was close to fall apart because the husband started having an affair. He met someone online who he was close to and had similar interests to him and it went from there. There were early morning meet ups online, countless texts and email messages sent back and forth, secret meet ups on business trips, and innumerable lies told. These days, where social media is the way most of us communicate, it is important to take various precautions if you do not want to have an affair.
The married couple I knew were not really involved in each other’s lives other than surface level. They would go out to eat, hang around watching TV and be in the same room together on their computers, but they never really were connected. They often took trips for work without their spouse and would check in a few times on the trips. They were married young and never really understood each other’s differences.
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Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of work to have a good marriage and be open with your spouse. Marriage is not what we see on TV. Staying married is something both spouses have to work and fight for. Marriage takes a lot of understanding, forgiveness and compromise. Both spouses cannot always have their way or you basically have two individuals living under the same roof doing what they want.
This day and age, with practically everyone on Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat and so much more, there are some precautions you must take to keep yourself from getting emotionally attached to another person and possibly leading to an affair. Steemit and Discord can also be thrown into the mix since they are social media sites.
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No secrets
The first thing I do to protect my marriage on social media is I do not do anything that I would not want to tell my husband. If I am chatting in a Discord room with someone, I usually will tell my husband what is going on. There are no secrets that I keep from my husband in this regard.
No personal information
Another thing I do online is I do not go into a private room or message another member of the opposite sex with personal information. While setting up our recent Discord group, I did have to message with some members and every step of the way, I kept my husband informed on what was going on. We exchanged the necessary information and did not continue with the messaging.
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No sneaking around
A sign that you are getting too attached and have gone too far would be sneaking around, getting up in the middle of the night to message the person and constantly thinking about them. None of these are a good idea if you are in a marriage. If this happens, stop communicating with the person and turn your attention back to your spouse.
The grass is not greener
The grass is not always greener on the other side. You will have a fantasy in your head of how great things will be if you can leave your spouse and run away with this other person you have so much in common with over the computer, but it is not true. When real life comes rushing in and you are caught in your lies, everyone gets hurt. Do not do something that requires you to lie or keep a secret from your spouse.
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Fall back in love with your spouse
Find something that you and your spouse enjoy doing together. If you both enjoy going for a walk, watching a movie, cooking a meal or whatever it is, find the time to do it. It is okay to try something new (I am the worst at this)! I tried ballroom dancing before with my husband and I am not a good dancer, but it was a fun time we had laughing together over my dis-coordination! Make a bucket list or date night ideas and start marking them off the list.
It is so easy to let your guard down on social media and start chatting with someone you have a lot in common with. Just remember, you really do not know if the person you are talking with is telling you the truth about who they are, what they look like or how they are. If you are married, it is just plain not a good idea to let yourself get emotionally involved with another person.
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The movies always tell you to "follow your heart" but they have it all wrong. The Bible gives us this wonderful wisdom:
Do not follow your heart.
Jeremiah 17:9 -
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
Guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 - Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
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