I never had a serious relationship in my life. Whenever I get involved with a person I have a weird thought in my head that says: What if you go out with your friends and meet a super nice guy? What if you feel an electrifying attraction for him? Are you just going to let him go because you are not allowed to be with someone else?
I don’t mean in the sex terms. Sometimes in your life, you get to meet people that you feel an instantaneous syntony. It's like you and the person were made of the same chemistries, or vibrating at the same exact frequency. It doesn’t happen often, so when it happens I want to find myself available to any possibility. And I want the person I'm involved with to have the same possibilities as well. Everybody deserves the freedom to do whatever they would like to do in their lives.
So that’s why I never believed in monogamy. At least not in the way society imposes it. It’s hard for me to understand that in your life you are limited to love only one person. Love is bigger than that. It’s a marvelous, fascinating and mysterious feeling so how can we suppose that we have the control to restrict it?
I’m not trying to invalidate monogamic relationships. It's beautiful when two people find each other and decide to spend the rest of their lives together. But I don’t believe this is for everybody. And I don’t believe that restricting yourself to other possibilities is a real evidence that you love the person you’re married with, or dating with (especially when you are just dating). That's why I support open relationships. Engaging in it doesn't mean you don't love the person enough, like many people may think. But it shows that you love and trust them enough to give them the freedom to have other experiences with other people that might appear in their lives.
Open Relationship
An open relationship requires honesty, maturity, confidence and, most importantly, emotional control - after all, you will be willing to know that your partner is getting involved with other people. So needless to say that is not so simple to be maintained. So just like monogamy, it’s not for everybody.
It’s also important to remember that you are still in a relationship with someone, so the first rule on a true open relationship is respect. It’s not like you’re in a relationship in the day and single at night. Hold your horses! Also, trust is a crucial point as it is tested at all times. Consequently, it is more likely that you and your partner will be more honest with each other about different points in your relationship.
An Open Relationship is Not Just About Sex
For most people open relationship is only a green light to be able to sleep with other people once in awhile. And while that's one of the key factors, it's far from the only thing in an open relationship that matters. It also enables you and your partner to escape all the pressure of a monogamous relationship. Sometimes the feeling of being able to do what you want without feeling guilty may be all the freedom you need.
It's also not just about sex when you think that sex is not the only way you can cheat on someone. So it's not the only thing you are not allowed to do with the opposite sex when you are in a serious relationship.
Set The Rules
Although open relationship is not only about sex, it can be so if the couple decides that that's what the relationship needs. Like any relationship, the most important thing is dialogue. It is critical that you be clear about what the rules are. All relationships are different, and this includes open relationships. Some people like to talk about the person they got involved with, other couples prefer the policy of never mentioning it to each other, for example.
The important thing is that the open relationship allows you to have what you want and need to be expressed quite clear and it helps you understand your partner's needs as well. Some people believe that it can harm the relationship but in my opinion, an open relationship can make the bonds of trust, respect, friendship and love even stronger.
As I said, I don't believe this is the best option for everybody, as monogamy isn't as well. But whatever you believe it's better for you, embrace it! And never be afraid or judgemental about other possibilities! It's always good to see things from other perspectives.
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