I have come to a point in my life that I can give unconditionally.
And it is a blessing.
I experience such joy in giving something to someone else without wanting anything back.
The joy lies in the unconditionality of it.
I really really really do not expect anything back.
It’s a massive relief and change from the scarcity mindset that I used to have.
There is no joy in being stingy
I really started noticing it in my relationship with my beloved.
With him, everything that I own he is completely free to use as well without even having to ask me.
And I experience so much happiness when I cook something he really enjoys or I buy him something that he really loves.
This REALLY was not the case in my past relationships.
I can remember feeling very irritated if my ex even used MY favourite cup.
I had the scarcity mindset embedded into my WHOLE being. Which manifested in being irrationally irritated and having angry thoughts in my head.
It's not a very loving space to be in I can tell you!
But as I meandered through life and became a little wiser and older, this started to change.
I was slowly moving from a lack mindset to a space of abundance.
And with that comes a hell of a lot.
In abundance, there is no lack.
In abundance, the undercurrent is ALWAYS LOVE.
Life became infused with love.
I know this sounds a little out there but really it is not.
I was attracting way more positive experiences and only good-hearted people came into my life.
This used to be the opposite in the past
It was then that I started diving deep into meditation and discovered the Pali word Dāna.
The practice of generous giving.
The practice of giving from the heart
When one gives unconditionally, that is Dāna.
But how does this ancient word translate into real world 2018 daily life?
It is simple.
There are three so-called levels.
Poor
Conditional
Unconditional
Poor
You give something but there is no joy in giving it. You feel irritated by even the idea of giving it and would rather not give it.
Conditional
You experience a little joy in giving it but you do expect something back from giving this. Some thought goes into the actual giving but there are always conditions that you hold onto. And if these conditions don`t get satisfied, you will feel negative feelings.
Unconditional
There is SO much joy in the giving process from start to finish. And there is no expectation from that person whatsoever. The joy is in the giving.
So how does this translate into real life?
Imagine you are going to give a gift to someone.
Poorly:
Giving something you have lying around and don’t much thought to it. And in the process of giving it to the person, you don’t put effort to wrap it and give the present in a haphazardly way. No energy or attention goes into it at all.
Conditional:
You think of the things this person has done for you and what they have given you as a present and based on that you choose something that is appropriate. By giving this to that person, you expect them to give you a present when the time comes. A little effort and attention goes into the giving process.
Unconditional:
You feel joy from the start. You think and feel quite a bit about what you are going to buy. When you buy it, there is joy in the process of handing money over to the cashier. Attention, effort and detail go into the packaging of the present. When you give the present, there is a lot of joy within you and to watch the person unfold. And you do not expect anything back. Not even a thank you.
In unconditional giving is where true joy and freedom lie.
When you can give something without expecting anything in return, happiness is natural.
And what it all boils down to is intention.
What is the intention behind it all?
And this is what I ask myself whenever I buy something or I am giving away.
If it is poorly or conditional, then I will not do it.
If I am struggling with parting with my money or I feel resistance to it, I will drop it and question my intentions and try to find the root.
Why am I feeling like this?
Why am I feeling like I will be lacking in this something if I purchase this?
What is my intention?
And it really works to practice this and it moves me more and more into unconditional giving.
Which in turn makes me a happier human being.
How do you give? Do you enjoy the whole process? Do you expect something in return?
I’d love to know!
Here’s to finding joy in unconditional giving.
Photo was taken when I was living in India and I did a bit of voluntary work at a home for disabled children. This is Selvi, still one of the most amazing little human beings I have ever come across. She is in my heart forever. This was one of the first moments I realized how joyful the act of giving is!
BIG love,
Ashley
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