It is not uncommon to turn on the news and hear about another rape or rape and murder. The entire country was shook a few years back by the brutal rape of Nirbhaya. People came out in large numbers and protested, but nothing happened and as usual we moved on with our lives and rapes continue as usual.
I and many girls like me have experienced molestation at different points in our life. It is kindoff like a right to passage which you have to go through in order to grow up. I am making it sound funny but it is actually really sad. It happens on the street , our public transport and sometimes our home.
I consider myself pretty brave, I read about these things without getting scared and I am always prepared. Atleast that’s what I thought. Getting felt in a crowded bus is not a new thing, to safeguard ourselves it’s best to carry pins, but when the crowd is extreme you can’t help but get felt till someone comes to your rescue.
The experience I am going to talk about is something that happened about nine or ten years back. I was still in college, a total Rebel as most people of my age and thought nothing could break me. Annnd I was wrong! It took one guy, (who in a normal situation would go unnoticed, who would in a normal situation not even have the balls to talk to a girl) to getting me crashing down into something I saw and heard off but never thought would happen to me. I live in the South of my country where rapes do take place but aren’t as frequent as in the North. The city I then lived in was peaceful and "safe".
I was getting back home from a cafe I usually go to with friends. We usually have two wheelers but on this particular day, I decided to get dropped half way and walk the rest home. It was 6pm, the sun hadn’t set yet and the weather was beautiful. I was lost in thoughts thinking about my beautiful new born niece who I had been spending extra time with off late as my sister had moved in for a few months. To get to my house I had to walk downhill for about ten minutes, take a right turn and my house was the first one on the left. Ours was a massive bungalow belonging to my grandfather. As I started descending, I noticed the place was less crowded than usual, I had a small alarm ring in my head but as my house was hardly a few minutes away I relaxed. I turned to see a women walking right behind me and a guy next to her. This put me at ease, so I wasn’t the only one. I put on my headphones to calm my nerves. At the first turn the lady turned into it. It was just me and the guy from there, I was still calm thinking if anyone attacks I atleast have him for protection (I the Idiot). And suddenly for no reason I started walking faster as I felt something was amiss. I had finally turned right and was about ten steps away from my gate when suddenly I felt getting yanked back and gropped!!
There comes a moment in everyone’s life where you feel completely helpless. This was mine. My mouth opened to let out a scream but no voice came out, I was in complete shock at the situation. The disadvantage of a big house is that all are lost inside, my sister was at the room facing the gate if only I could scream. I got hold of myself and screamed as loud as I could. He pushed to the ground and ran off. I got to my feet falling a couple of times running to my gate closing it while shaking bad. I get to the house and run to my room.
This incident is itched to my memory from that day. How helpless I felt, and how degrading it all was. I now carry a pepper spray with me at all times, and when I am alone it’s always in a state of being ready to attack. Luckily unlike many who go through this, I didn’t stop living or going out. I do travel alone, but I am always alert.
It is sad to realize that you are not safe anywhere, not even in your own home. A world where we are meant to be carefree, we have to always be on our toes on a lookout for the next predictor.
P.S - To make you feel better I have pepper sprayed five so far!