The other day, my neighbors' wife hit my truck and crunched my tail-light. She had no drivers' license. They have insurance, but I also know that my neighbor just lost his job. They are screwing-up. They're on drugs, fighting, etc. They have 2 kids. I've taken them both to the weekly 12-step meeting that I've been attending for the last couple of years. I had hoped they would start to make progress in regards to their addictions, but it's slow-going. They're making some stupid decisions.
Normally, my reaction to something like this would be out of anger. I'd call the cops, etc. But, having been the maker of stupid decisions in my own past, and having worked very hard to get a better handle on my feelings and behaviors around anger over the last 20 years, my reaction was different this time.
I try to place a very high value on people, life, and relationships - above my own self interest. After assessing the situation, getting their insurance info., and talking to them - I decided to let them figure out a way to fix it themselves, without getting insurance or police invloved. Even though I had every right to do so, I really wasn't too worried about my truck. It's a 1991, it's old, and it's a tank. If they don't fix it, I can do the body-work myself and replace the tail-light assembly for $21. (In case you did not know, 3D printers are changing the auto-parts business: you can now buy headlight and tail-lights assemblies for around $15 - $35, plus shipping. They used to cost upwards of $100 - $200.)
The thought that came to my mind in this situation was this: "It's just stuff - it's not important. People are important." Getting worked up and angry over it doesn't change anything. Insurance notification would probably just raise both of our insurance costs. So, what's the big deal? A little bit of time and a few bucks. The upside is this: I am a different person than I used to be.
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