The thing is, in the grand scheme of things, there really is no "right." Each of us human beings have our very own unique perspectives which have come about over a lifetime of interacting with the world around us. Each of us have had vastly different experiences with others in our lives. Even if we've shared the same experience, I'll interpret it differently than you and respond to it differently based on my own past life experiences and how I've best learned to cope with the world. Every person usually thinks that what they think is "right." And that's because it is. For them. Each of us have adapted to the world differently. Each and every one of us is just doing the very best that we can. Maybe you've learned something that helps you to cope in the world and maybe it even helps you to thrive in the world while I'm still struggling to cope in that area. And how I respond bumps up against you.
What most people will do in that situation is insist that the person who bumped up against them was wrong and must be punished. What I've learned in regards to personal relationships is that the right and wrong game is the wrong game to play if healthy relationships is your goal. Because somebody's not necessarily wrong for how they're coping for a situation. They're doing what they know. And you don't like it. It's not how you want to be treated. And so I've found that the healthier and more productive way to interact is not to make that person wrong, shame them for their behavior, make them regret it and show remorse, and try to make them change - but to honor where that person is in their life.
This is a totally radical departure from how society very strongly believes relationships should go. Someone is wrong, someone is right, and the person who's wrong needs to be punished. But what if we saw our relationships differently? What if we recognized that each of us is walking around in some level of pain? Not one person alive is free from the effects of losing someone they love and being treated in unkind ways. No one ever said life on planet earth is easy. I wonder how things would be if we walked around with a base understanding that life is hard and everyone's doing the best they can with what they know.
Making someone wrong never does anything productive. People for the most part don't admit they're wrong. Because they don't feel wrong. The way they acted is how they know how to act based on the situation.
When we come from the standpoint that I'm coping and adapting and trying to thrive, and you're coping adapting and maybe trying to thrive, we can talk about where we are in life and how we can best care for each other. Isn't that better than the wrong/right game?
The world is really much more nuanced than right and wrong. And so are people. And so are our relationships.
The unspoken belief in our world is that if you're wrong, you don't deserve love. All of us could be doing better. If we could.