I never was the girl who wanted to hold babies and dreamed of motherhood.
Yet, I knew that I would be a mother some day and that when I became a mother, my children would be my priority. I appreciated how my mother was at home with us as we grew up, and I was going to do the same for my own children.
My logical mind had these things figured out but I was not emotional about it.
12 years ago at the age of 36, my first child, Isaiah, was born at home with midwives. It was a quick and relatively easy birth. Everything went amazingly well.
I am now blessed with three wonderful children!
After the Birth:
We had a very rough ride shortly afterwards, when concern arose that Isaiah was losing weight because he was not nursing successfully -- (Inverted nipples and poor sucking helped create low milk supply which further weakened ability to effectively suck.)
I was stubbornly determined to provide my child with the best start in life and would NOT give up. I grew exhausted from waking up every 3rd hour during the night to pump and try to nurse using a Supplemental Nursing System. The pumping wasn't working at first and baby wouldn't attach properly. I got less than 2 hours sleep at a time.
One of my midwives stayed with me an entire night to help get things working. I hired Postpartum Doulas, two of whom specialized in breastfeeding. My mother stayed with me for a few days. Thankfully I had LOTS of support!
The midwives had suggested a certain formula for me to use. I asked whether or not it contained soy, as I knew that I wasn't going to feed soy to my baby boy. She did not know if it contained soy and since I would not just buy that formula brand without asking any questions, that midwife told my worried mother that she would have to call Social Services if I would not feed my baby. What???
I was not refusing to feed my baby! I just wanted an answer to my question so that I could determine the best formula to supplement with!
I'm glad that my mother never told me about that conversation until after the breastfeeding situation resolved itself, because that was the first time someone attempted to make me shut up and listen to the "experts" and shut off my own brain. Ughh!
I'm not sure how you can be an expert when you don't even know the ingredient list of what you are trying to force on someone?
As it turned out, my super wonderful friend, Doreen, pumped her own breast-milk, froze it for me, and friends transported it to me so that I could supplement the little breast-milk that I could produce with hers. I only had to supplement with formula for one single feeding.
My Postpartum Doula, who specialized in breastfeeding help, and was even in discussions to do a Reality TV Show, told me that I was her "Hero of the Month" for persevering through, as it was rare to see someone stick with it after so many obstacles.
I won't give a detailed account here, but finally my baby boy was sucking effectively and my milk was producing sufficiently, and baby Isaiah was getting all his nourishment needs met solely through my milk. In fact, he quickly became quite plump and people remarked how I must be giving him cream and not milk! (What a relief.)
I did pay for my lack of sleep with a horrible bout of mastitis. But it was all worth it to be able to give my new baby the best nourishment that he could possibly have.
I had stopped at nothing to give my own child the best start in life.
And I continue today to fight for my children and to fight for what is best for them, whether that be health, play, education or simply lots of love.
Before becoming a mother, babies almost always seemed to end up crying when I held them for long.
Shortly after the breastfeeding chaos died down, and I had a chance to simply hold and thoroughly enjoy my first-born child, I looked up at my own mother and said, "THIS BABY ACTUALLY LIKES ME!"
My mom has reminded me of that moment several times. She was amused that such a thing surprised me. Of course a baby would like his own mother! But to me it was an important observation. THIS BABY OF MINE ACTUALLY LIKED ME!
I was now officially a mother.
I had almost no experience or knowledge of how to care for babies.
But everything fell into place. It was natural. I was born for this!
My life has never been the same since, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the wonderful mothers on Steemit!
