I'm not calling @shenanigator and myself YouTube celebrities or anything, but displaying our lives online has been an interesting experience. Before starting our @TangerineTravels, the only times I'd been recorded on video were dance performances and gymnastics meets. And fortunately, those happened before uploading everything to Facebook and YouTube was even a thing.
Not much criticism to worry about. No negative comments to read. Any mistakes I made could remain a secret if I so chose. Now, it's like we're constantly standing under a spotlight and our actions are scrutinized under a magnifying glass.
What does it feel like to have my life publicly and permanently posted on YouTube?
1. Awkward
Hearing myself talk in a recording and watching videos of myself is just weird sometimes. And if I'm in the room with anyone watching a video with me in it...multiply that by ten.
2. Vulnerable
We know we're not perfect. Still, uploading videos exposes you to a lot. What if I offend someone? What if I offend LOTS of people? Who's going to judge my actions? What are they going to say? What if something I do comes back to haunt me? These are just a few questions that are constantly circling around.
It's not so much that I care about what strangers think of me and my actions, but actions always have reactions. Sometimes they have consequences. (Thankfully, we haven't encountered anything like that, unless you consider the wrath of cyber bullies a consequence.)
3. Annoying or Disheartening
While there are many, many heartwarming, chuckle-inducing, or loving comments we receive...some are just "WTF." Sometimes, the things people say from behind the safety of their computer screen is just ridiculous. Would you ever say that to someone in person? Probably not. Why do you think your opinion is superior to mine or that of others?Everyone gets to make mistakes privately and without ridicule, but when you post videos online. Suddenly they're open for mocking, criticism, and the occasional parade of venomous written words. Facebook seems to harbor the most vicious of online snakes who attack everything from our age to our choice of vehicle.
4. Uplifting
Before starting to post videos about our @TangerineTravels, I never guessed that we'd have the support, encouragement, or loving words from anyone except our family and friends. There was a while where I wondered if posting our travels was a waste of time or if it could turn into something. I still have faith that it will.
It helps that we're getting comments from people saying that they are thankful for what we're doing; they love us because we are showing that Mexico isn't dangerous and scary like people think. Hell, someone even recently said they took an 8-day trip to Mexico partly because they saw our videos. Still geeking out about that a little. And, gulp. Wow, we're shouldering a big responsibility.
5. Skin-Thickening
Is that a word? Lol. If there's one big change that's happened in me personally it's that I've gotten a much thicker skin. The mean, absurd, delightful, hilarious, and random things people say to and about me/Jordan have stopped bothering me as much.
I've learned to take everything with a grain of salt (and sometimes a shot of tequila) and move on. We appreciate the constructive criticism. We laugh when people poke fun at the dumb things we do. We rant and rave at nincompoops who have no idea what they're talking about. It's all part of the adventure.