I do not know how I could gain weight anymore but as long as I have an appetite issue maybe I could never gain a true weight which is by adding muscle and fat into my body. But whenever I eat large amounts of food or would take in high calorie food my body would just heat up and it doesn't make me feel good.
I feel much better when my body is normally cooler and I do not get the feeling of guilt that it would cause another illness like diabetes and such if I would eat high calorie meals and or foods. But I needed a high calorie diet for the reason of not plunging my weight even more but I could not get to achieve my calorie requirements because of my physical capacity to eat and add to that my long-running appetite-loss.
But for me it is just better to eat lesser if not for the bad factor that it will cause me which is the real weight being replaced by water weight which just causes me to have a difficulty in breathing and the risk of making my lungs to get drenched in fluids when my nurses again would adjust my dry-weight up.
So I have to really gain some weight and I hope that I could find a way for it to happen because with the kind of nurses that I have I will surely bust up my heart because of the load of water that is not taken off entirely by dialysis. I really do not want that to happen because I still have goals to meet in my life and many lights of days that I wanted to see.
For this reason I might have to try again some high energy protein shake, maybe a lactose-free one that I can use to try to add some mass into my body which is now ridiculously emaciated and weak. Protein shakes just have a lot of calories and protein but has minerals and additives that I do not need. So I will just have to counter its phosphorus content with some of my phosphate binder so that I won't elevate my phosphorus and exacerbate my secondary hyperparathyroidism.
Now I wanted to really transfer to another dialysis center so that I could evade this thing that my nurses does lest I will risk myself of death due to a sustained fluid overload. They just failed to learn that the aim of dialysis is to make the patient comfortable in-between dialysis days, to take the extra water out, and also to put the blood pressure down. Now my nurses just wanted to make the blood pressure up as much as possible so that they will not have to do extra work when the blood pressure goes down which is just easy to correct.
Now I am fearing for my well-being because of that which is why I am thinking of transferring and expecting to get a good dialysis treatment because now my nurses also had slowed down the blood pump for the same reason of evading more work when my blood pressure goes down which it does even when my body had been added with extra water weight just recently.
Now if I were to add more real weight to my body which is very hard thing to do for my case I might survive my current situation in my dialysis center. But I guess I can never really improve my weight unless my body had changed its processes or if I were to improve my appetite which cannot happen if I am continually take my Parathyroid medicine which also I hope that another form of drug could replace it because it is really causing my life a great deal of misery after my pain issues.
The idea of protein shake came to me because it is easier to ingest plus you will get much calories than eating for my case which I could not do. I recently just stopped taking protein shake because of lactose intolerance which just left me getting bloated and waiting to use the toilet frequently, it made me more uncomfortable than ever. But I have learned that there are lactose-free products out there plus lactase tablets that I can use to help me with my lactose intolerance, so it is a thing that I am contemplating and would try again soon.
