Aloha Steemers!
This week has been overall challenging for me, but I'll begin by saying that I'm grateful for these challenges and I view them all as opportunities to learn and grow. In summation: I've had a fallout with a dear friend whom I admire and I've learned so much from; I have started two new and completely different jobs that are taking up all my mental capacity; I am beginning a new wellness regime to heal my body's hormonal system; and I'm confronting certain fearful behaviors that have hindered my growth. I'm coming to terms with old thoughts and beliefs that I see no longer serve me and I'm finally able to see with a refreshed perspective, how and what I can do to improve my life in the areas of my career, relationships, self-care and goals.
And with all this exciting, exhausting and evaluative jive happening within my mind, I'm taking the moment to pause and breathe. I find breathing so essential in being able to pace myself with the crazy beautiful life that I'm creating. Also, when I take breaks to pause I remind myself to build on what I have been working on in the past couple of days. Last week I focused on the prompting question of, "AM I BEING MYSELF?" The week has gone by and that question has really served a great deal of anchoring me in authenticity. Today I'm bringing back the subtle but powerful question,
"AM I LISTENING?"
Why ask myself such a question? I have found that when life begins to be a little overwhelming, I start slacking off in my basic communication skills and this leads to overall slump in all interactions that I may have over the course of the day. And like any kind of emotional or physical crash if we are intuitive with our needs, we will seek a stimulant or upper to balance out. This is where positive and great vibes of love and laughter really help people maintain some level of sanity. I am one of those people that seek out fun and comfort with friends, I feel re-energized when I connect with the right kind of people. These are the people that make your day better by just being the way they are, smiling, laughing, cracking jokes, etc. I strive to be this kind of person. BUT! If I'm not being myself or listening authentically, I fail to provide the basic qualities of a mutual and healthy interaction.
And what kind of company will I be if I don't listen to them equally with love and compassion?
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”
–Zeno of Citium quotes Diogenes Laërtius
Are you someone who experiences difficulty in conversing? Maybe you feel like you're not being listened to or that no one supports your thoughts and ideas. Have you considered that you are also being difficult to listen to? Maybe you don't genuinely listen to others and you receive a lackluster response from your friends or family because of this.
Listening is a skill that we must cultivate and practice on a daily basis.
I must be honest, in the past I was a terrible listener and I say this with full conviction because now I can feel the difference in my relationships and interactions.
Check out this quick 45 second video featuring Iyanla Vanzant, it really connected with my thoughts on Listening
"Listening is a process of love"
Wow, what a statement. That simple sentence made its way into the melting core of my body. I will do my best to rank this practice higher than the other virtues I'm working with for the rest of the month.
Have you been listening or are you getting away with just hearing?
I challenge you to test yourself this week starting tomorrow, become aware of all the moments you catch yourself tuning out instead of tuning into the interactions and conversations you're actually having. If you're waiting for the other person to finish their sentence and then hastily competing to get your two cents in, I doubt you're listening (and that's just rude!)
You will feel much more energy in an exchange of genuine active sharing of ideas and emotions when you allow yourself to be the listener as well as the speaker. I know it's not an easy thing to do, I'm a stage hog myself. But you will respect yourself in the end for your efforts and the awareness cultivated in the process.
& With warm love and aloha I'm out!
Dakini-Dion