4 months ago, I started a new job. A job that I felt was very necessary at the time, and it was.
I knew I didn't want to take it but I kind of had to. It started out well. I picked it up fast, but lost interest just as quickly.
In my mind it was quite a step backwards in skill and remuneration.
I began to both resist and resent it, and this caused me all kinds of grief.
I had a lot going on outside of work, but I was not helping myself.
Being that I had stopped drinking regularly, I was quite fortunate that I didn't use alcohol to cope with these tough times.
I had in fact found solace in food. Mostly chocolate, biscuits, cakes and other sweet things. I didn't realise what I was doing straight away, but after a few weeks I worked out that I was comfort eating. I would buy block of chocolate and finish it before I got to the train, or a pack of biscuits and finish them before I got home, 4 cupcakes in 20 minutes and the list goes on.
I was only about a month ago that I began to accept my situation for what it was and that it was important that I saw this stage of my life as a stepping stone to something bigger and greater.
What we resist persists.
I felt stuck, and even though I still don't want to be there, I am keeping my state and energy up for when I leave each day.
Acceptance is important, but it doesn't mean that we have to stay in the situation if it isn't serving us.