My father called. I had fallen asleep, the sound of the phone woke me up.
-Your uncle has died, all plans for tomorrow are cancelled....
(5 seconds in silence which feels like eternity).
-Uhm...are you still there?
-Yes, I was just... processing... Put her through.
-(I heard my mother between choked sobs)
-Mom, I'm so sorry.
{...}
You know, one of those cold calls.
Don't ask me why. After being silent for 1h with my inner thoughts I thought I needed to write about it.
And here I am, with chill background music. Slightly melancholic, nothing too harsh.
He was a distant relative to me, it had been years since we had interacted beyond the strictly mandatory. I grieve more for my mother's pain than for my own.
A month ago my grandmother also died, this one hurt me much more, although it was a natural death. She was already very old and suffered from dementia that had been evolving for years.
She was no longer able to recognize anyone. The only thing she had were brief moments of lucidity in which she remembered from years, sometimes decades ago.
How is life eh?.....
I don't know if you need to read this, if you have it in mind or not, what does it matter. At this point I write mainly for myself.
take care of your own. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Let them feel your warmth.
Once will be the last time and you won't know it.
Lots of love. Take care of yourselves.