Some eloquent piece on the intricacies of nature?
The existential burden of living in the first world?
How about the state of unsustainability in the world?
I threw on my audiobook of Life Principals by Ray Dalio, the revolutionary founder of Bridgewater investment firm to drown out the thoughts. I wasn't ready to handle this yet. Out of bagels, and not feeling like making the mess of cooking pancakes on my dual burner coleman propane stove in the parking lot. I just decided to mix up a peanut butter protein shake to make due and push myself further in the day.
I heard a feint "hey" in the background.
Disregarding it not suspecting it to be targeted at me, I continued actually spilling most of my protein powder on the ground clumsily.
Then I heard it again and saw a car roll forward in my peripheral vision.
An older chinese woman was hanging out the window of the car, looking at me.
The first question that popped in my mind, is she having car trouble?
What can I help with?
I walked over to her, and by the time I took two steps to her car window and removed an ear bud, looking at her worriedly trying to piece it together. She extended her hand, with a 5$ bill in it.
I had .1 seconds to decide whether to allow this woman to do what she felt was right, or stand proud and not accept this compassionate act.
I saw 2 cars pile behind hers, as she glanced in the rear view mirror, and thank you came across my lips before she moved along into the drive through to start her day. Tears came to my eyes. I'm able, and doing my best to sustain myself. From content creating on steem in multiple ways, to side business' the hustle has been real. And I've had many opportunities to make large sums, that did not fit my ethics.
My pride was partially shattered. I've chosen to stick to my heart to try and bring quality to the world, and let my work be an extension of myself. And this is where I am. I am thankful, I've met so many throughout my journies that would see it as divine grace to have my set up in life, and opportunities. I have never, and will never take government benefits, as thats merely footing a bill to my children of the future to pay. There is nothing free.
I'm not sure of the costs of accepting that 5$. But it was like accepting a mirror, of how the world sees me now.
And that's okay to me. In the bigger picture I'm not a charity case. I'm where I am because I know I can build out no matter, some options have a higher moral toll than others. And my financial evolution is slower than it could be because of that. But an unexpected bill recently definitely hit me in the perspective. A 550$ registration cost because that's what the DMV says they deserve before sending out my plates, on top of a 80$ parking ticket I got a few weeks back.
I put myself in the position I'm in to build myself to be able to better be of service to the chaotic world we live in. And where my means may currently seem low, and comfort may be as well. My spirits are higher than ever, and growth is laden in every day. I'm grateful.
So.. Looking at this 5$ bill.. I had to decide what to do with it.. I'll let the pictures tell a story larger than I can. What can we really do with this?
A delectible hot lunch?
Tempting.. That's like at least 10x on the marry go round
I could probably get at least the first few pages..
A bag of snacks?
Could probably negotiate for at least the leg of one of the plush monkies to keep me company...
in the end
The reality is. The biggest investment we can make is in ourselves. That's what this whole journey is about.
A limitless creator was fueled for about for about 5 more mornings. I was planning on sharing the bounties of this compassionate act with someone else that could use it, but I'd seen about 10 cop cars that morning. I doubt anyone found homeless isn't tolerated for long in this concrete jungle.
But as I sat there.. Enjoying my pastry, I looked at the receipt and realized.. That's about the value of 1 SBD for now.
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