I was reminded today of this blog post of mine from 2016. As I was perusing Twitter, Telegram and Reddit this morning, seeing what's new, getting caught up on the latest spin in the Bancor robbery, I had a personal lesson revealed to me that's a follow-up to this post I wrote two years ago. Funny how that works. The lesson is simple too and not for everyone to learn, just me for now. However, it's foundation is finally worthy of a share. *(Link to original posted at the bottom!)
Average is such a common and often misunderstood word. For most it is a number that represents a range of data. It is often taken as the "answer" without delving further into the structure of the data itself. Within that structure, should you choose to go there, a much more interesting story can potentially be told.
A basic example would be that if you have a range of 9 numbers, one set being a sequential list from 1-9 and another set with nine 5's, the average for each set is 5. Both sets are indeed balanced around the fulcrum of 5 however the first set has a very wide range (aka volatility) and the second set is a bit dull.
If your definition of average is of the dull variety, then your experiences may feel mediocre as well and you wouldn't necessarily be wrong. If you are interested in the data that drives the answer rather than the answer itself, then your experience of what is can be greatly enhanced.
In terms of life experience, I spent much of my life out of balance with myself. There are lots of ways to describe that: right-brain vs left brain, fear vs love, good vs evil and on and on. The key point is that there is no "OR", the real truth lies in "AND". Always. If we stay caught up in such a whip-sawing back and forth, life begins to feel volatile and we desire balance, otherwise it seems as though everything is falling apart.
From a separation point of view, this is always the case. However, as you begin to integrate the various pieces of your puzzle with compassion as a starting point rather than fear, suddenly the picture begins to become clear and you recognize that you are the centre of your own paradox and you can begin to pull from both ends of a wide spectrum with ease and comfort, maintaining balance despite the seeming volatility of the data itself.
In my personal experience, this realization led to a major perspective shift in my life.
I spent the first 44 years of my life exploring one side of my equation, the dark side of emotions if you will, seeing myself as separate and trying to maintain control of the world around me. My LinkedIN profile shows all of the accomplishments I achieved trying to be part of a world that I believed existed as others told me it did. I have more letters after my name than in my name for crying out loud! I did everything I was "supposed" to according to the rules of the game laid out for me, yet the game wasn't delivering what was promised no matter how hard I tried. The end result of which started to create a negative vortex of emotional pain and numbness within me until I decided a couple of years ago that feeling like shit all the time was no way to live. I gave myself permission to explore all of the things I'd come to take as truth and view them through the lens of how those things made me feel instead. It wasn't easy at first. I wasn't even aware of how messed up I'd actually become! I'm surprised my head didn't develop a severe tilt to the left I had avoided and boxed up my emotional side so damn effectively! :)
And now I'm off on a journey of exploration involving the other side of the equation. The dark side had its moments, not all of them awful either and now that I can see it so clearly, it feels amazing that I actually survived myself. I'm grateful for the vast range of experiences I've had so far and I wouldn't change a thing.
I have finally become able to embrace balance as my anchor point and I'm excited to begin experiencing all that is going to come to light from this point forward.
This is indeed a new beginning as I stroll foldly borth, embracing average as the powerful tool that it has become for me. Plights are now something I await with anticipation because I know the power to respond is entirely a function of my state of being and the outcome has nothing to do with the circumstances that present themselves. Plight is such a great word too, it's going to be fun to use it in a positive way for a change.
Source Written the day after Valentine's Day, 2016.