It looks familiar, doesn't it?
The great and significant questions of humanity.
This sounding headline has touched your eyes countless times and done something with you every time.
Anyway, that's what happened to me. And by the way: I do not have 5 methods. That was just a marketing trick.
The haunted feelings when reading
"the highest achievement in the face of human development"
or
"we must not ignore the question of solving the population problem"
or
"the greatest enemy is the..."
and then the many placeholders.
I always felt a little frightened and also caught, guilty later on, that the great themes of humanity were treated so shamefully by me. All these titles and subtitles left me impressed. I had probably not taken care of it enough, because since I can read and write, they have been put on the stage and seem to be put on the daily program again and again.
Sure, there's a piece of truth in it. And that's why I started wanting to take care of it. But every time I tried to grab one of the big questions, it turned out that it was actually superior to me.
House high, oh what (!), as high as a skyscraper, no, more like a planetary dimension that immediately killed me and I collapsed under the question. Subsequently, I did not care about these existential matters for a long time. But there's no other way: I returned to them. In the back of my head, very far behind me, these very important headlines gnawed at me.
Again I asked, "How can I save the world?"
Again I failed, for I had become Atlas in my heart and mind, carrying the earth on my shoulders. Anyone who tries to do that knows that you can go with it for half an hour. Than you're done. Fed up, so to speak. Actually also feeling disgusted. By what evil and horrific "the world" can be. Too heavy, that is for sure. Because you see, taking "I" and "the world" is just for a logical reason not very smart.
Climate change, war, poverty, misery, crime, violence, rudeness, - come on, you even don't want to read any further on this one (except you are some kind of pain addicted character who feeds on your misery). Now THAT is an accusation, isn't it?
But still, you tried on every single "humanity problem" to solve it on your own, didn't you?
I did. I tried very very hard.
And failed.
And tried.
And failed.
Next question: What can you DO about it, right?
No. wrong.
I am telling you, there is nothing you can or should DO about IT.
This "IT" is way to huge and it is - how can I say it - not even practical in your daily life. At least not in my daily life.
I started a journey of tracking what may be more practical for me to rely on and what could be a goal which I can reach within my lifetime. Sure, there must be methods, teachings which are more applicable to my routines and circumstances?
Went from here to there and from there to here. Picked up some good and bad stuff on my way. As ALWAYS. Learned that. Felt offended by comments on facebook. Offended back. Blablabla - jaddajaddajadda - no, wrong place to exchange what is deeper inside.
Got into the "Guaranteed Basic Income" business.
THERE I learned a lot. First, to be responsible for my own blog, which I founded back then. I was shuffling myself through various topics, first economy and later on psychology, sociology, biology, even tried mathematics (which obviously I lack skills). But hey, it was really getting interesting. I learned about Insurance, social security, the Greeks, the inventors and crazy thinkers who occupy the earth and all kinds of crazy stuff. I was watching and listening to people who were accused of pseudo-science, found them nevertheless fascinating creatures, of drug takers and also experimenters even on a university-level. I came across authors, books and blogs I never would have dreamt of. The Internet, of course.
I had the ancient Greeks as a model in my head, their excellent debates, the "know how to debate". I didn't want to stamp ugly opinions into the ground, because what was it worth to me, except that two people came out of an online dispute as losers? Of course not without having made this exact mistake, just to be "right". My commentators taught me not only to take my daily varying opinion as the basis of my arguments. They taught me to do research and see which of the writings, treatises, philosophies and human works I could refer to. Did I learn everything? Certainly not. A fragment in my life which I had taken a closer look at. So much more.
The human question still has not been answered.
"Eckhart Tolle": Mediocre-looking, somewhat older and dusty type fills a hall with a thousand people. Speaks of "life in the moment". Why does he succeed? What do his followers expect? On the trail of "great" countless others: Osho, McKenna, Sheldrake, Harramein, Braden, Warm, Holzer, Braungart, McDonough, Eisenstein, Häni, Werner, Schmidt. Authors whose names I cannot mention or memorize.
A short intermezzo with Schmidt on facebook: He talks about freedom, about the oppression of the little ones by the big ones. The fact that you have to stand up for your rights.
My answer: "I was at my house bank and needed a loan. I was rejected. I intervened. Then the promise."
His answer: "You disregard the big questions here and rather put housewife issues into the discussion."
That did it! A page-long answer written to Schmidt (never sent). Housewives theme??
My description of my everyday life was not radical enough for him, not big enough?
After all, it's about the little man's freedom?
How can you get so misunderstood? I had just mentioned an excellent example where I (the little man ... uhm .. woman) didn't let me be impressed by my bank. Wanted to encourage other readers not to take the disparaging looks and patronizing words of the banker to heart. To speak up ones on mind.
If my everyday life doesn't count and the events that show me that I have influence, voice and effect: where else can I get this experience from? By exchanging the media headlines as representatives of my real world? That any newspaper, party or celebrity speaks "for me"? Can't I speak alone without someone who's with me on the horizontal level telling me:
"Oh, come on, kid, that's got no weight and you miss the big questions."
You know what? It's IS a good thing someone once told me that. Someone who didn't seem to be above or below me. Someone who's done something in common with me, or at least pretended to do it.
He revealed to me his ego - his narcissistic part - a reflection of my own. We actually are even in that. I was clearly seeing his ego and his great desire to become a leading figure in the "fight for the right". And I saw mine as well. Who knows, if Eckhart Tolle wouldn't have crossed my way and all the other glowing role models at that time, I just would have said: "What the hell!"
Schmidt has done me a favor.
If not with Schmidt, maybe it would have happened elsewhere. But he was not like telling me: "Great answer, Erika. This is soooo kind of you to give this share to us." Not, he unmasked himself (if by clear mind or not, doesn't matter) and hurt me there, where I have hurt him. Because, after all, I had wanted him to say: "What a great contribution to our standing up for our rights". I am happy, that he didn't. In the same way I should have tapped him on his shoulder and praising him our new Gallion figure. Now, another interesting question still remains open: Had he learned something through me? This is even more of significance because first of all I never know and second I can practice to put my trust in this. And a good amount of "if not sure, just believe for the better." Some people call that "faith".
Thank you, Schmidt. May the force be with you. From my deepest heart I praise you where ever you are and wish you all the best.
What is it now with the big questions?
If you still don't understand that THIS was one, I cannot help you.
Photo by David East on Unsplash
Photo by Andrey Grinkevich on Unsplash