Fear of trying anything new
This feeling of “I can’t” marks the development of the fear of failure. If you’re discouraged or punished too often as a child, very early in life you will become fearful of trying new things. When you become an adult and think of doing something new or different, or something that entails risk or uncertainty, your first reaction will be “I can’t!” and you’ll begin to think of all the reasons why such a thing isn’t possible. You’ll think and talk in terms of failure rather than success. Before you even try something new, you’ll talk yourself out of it.
The most important habit you can develop for great happiness and success is the habit of repeating to yourself, and believing, the words “I can do anything I put my mind to!” The most powerful words you can repeat, over and over, to neutralize and overcome the fear of failure, are “I can do it! I can do it!”
What others might say
The second negative habit pattern we learn is the compulsive negative habit pattern. This manifests in the fear of rejection or criticism. We’re all sensitive to the opinions of others, especially to the responses and reactions of our parents when we’re growing up. Parents often give or withhold approval and support based on the behavior of the child at the moment.
When the child does or says something the parents don’t like, they immediately become rejecting and critical of the child. Since the parents’ approval is like a psychological lifeline to the emotional health of the child, the child immediately pulls back from the behavior to regain the love and approval of the parents. You learn that “If I want to get along, I have to go along.” At an early age, you begin to conform your behaviors to earn the approval, and avoid the disapproval, of others.
As an adult, the child who was subjected to disapproval and destructive criticism becomes hypersensitive to the attitudes and opinions of others. They’re continually saying, “I have to do this.” When the fear of rejection becomes extreme, an individual becomes so sensitive to the opinions of others that he cannot make a decision until absolutely convinced that everyone affected will support the choice.