Things bartenders judge their customers for.
ATTENTION ALL MY FELLOW DRINKERS! Today I am going to let you in on some valuable inside information. Do you ever wonder why it seems like the bartender is just skipping you, or ignoring you? Well, I hate to break it to you, but they probably are! Below is a list of things that most bartenders deem annoying, rude, and just downright offensive. Along with each bullet will be helpful hints to make your and your bartenders night more enjoyable. Trust me, when the bartender is having a good time, everyone wins!
(Note: this list does not apply to all bartenders and there are certain situations that warrant certain actions, this list is very generalized and NOT APPLICABLE TO EVERY ONE OF US.)
(Second note: Yes, I am a veteran bartender of about 7 years, so I have seen all of these and more.)
1.) ORDERING YOUR COCKTAIL WITH NO OR LIGHT ICE.
OK guys, a bartender hears light or no ice, they do not think to themselves “alright i suppose ill just put a ton of booze in there to fill up space.” No. Just no. 99% of the time, when you order things with light or no ice, you will either get more juice/soda/water/whatever other filler you ordered, or they won’t fill your glass up all the way. You are not clever, you are not pulling one over on anyone but yourself. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Either order a double, get your liquor neat (no ice and no mixer), or just drink your drink. Personally this is one of my biggest pet peeves as a bartender and it’s just easier to order the drink like a normal human being.
2.) ASKING US TO MAKE YOUR DRINK “STRONGER”
Oh, you want a double? You’re going to get charged for a double then. Most bartenders have to keep inventory on all the liquor that comes and goes, and making your drink stronger for the possibility that you will leave me an extra $1 is not worth me getting in trouble or losing my job. Guess what? That is called stealing and it is in fact, a fireable offense. This is another instance similar to the “no ice” situation, just don’t do it, for our sanity if nothing else. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: If you are ordering a jack and coke and don’t want to pay for a double, try ordering jack on the rocks with a splash of coke. This way the bartender and the customer both win! This should satisfy your strong drink needs and the bartender won’t have to explain to you for probably the 1,000th time why they can’t just make your drink “stronger.”
3.) BANGING YOUR EMPTY GLASS ON THE BAR
This will never EVER IN ANY WAY be acceptable. This is one of the quickest ways to get ignored or scolded by the bartender. This is rude and disrespectful in ANY instance. The bartender sees that your drink is empty, they are working on getting to you as fast as they can. Please be respectful, and imagine if someone was trying to get your attention using that method. It would probably be very annoying, especially if you’re trying to multi-task. Many times bartenders are taking an order while making a drink and they already have a list of other things they need to do all the while remembering how to make the hundreds of drink combos that there are to choose from. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Wait your turn. Going up to the bar on a busy night can be frustrating, trust us, we know. Please know that for the most part bartenders have “rounds.” They usually start at one end of the bar and make their way down, hit up the server tickets in between, getting servers change, and cleaning up from guests that have just left. When you get to the bar, don’t move. trying to follow the bartender around is a sure fire way to get lost in the shuffle. The bartender will get to you, we promise.
4.) NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT TO ORDER
When we have a bar 3 deep on a Friday night, we do not have time to stand there and wait for you to decide whether or not you want to be adventurous, when we all know you are just going to get that vodka cranberry you always get. Also, please don’t wave us down like you have some sort of emergency and when we hurry over to take your order turn around and ask your buds what they want. You really should have that information before you go waving us down like you’re gonna keel over if I don’t take your order now. How do you know if you are one of those people? Has a bartender ever said “I’ll give you a minute to think.” or just flt out walked away from you? If you answered yes to either of those, you are one of those people. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Wait to approach the bar until you know what you want. If you need a drink menu, that’s just fine, we will get you one no problem, but don’t expect us to just chill there waiting on you to decide, we will probably go knock out a server ticket or take another order while you look it over. We will be back.
5.) CHIT-CHAT
On a slow night or an early afternoon, bartenders love talking to their guests (most of the time.) but when we don’t even have time to breathe, we sure don’t have time to see the same picture of your cat for the 6th time that week or listen to your vacation story. We can handle a “hi how are you” and a quick one liner and that’s about it. We don’t do it to be rude, we do care about our guests, that’s how we pay our bills. We just have to keep moving. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Read the room. If the bar is crazy busy, just order your drink and food, say hello, throw a joke or a comment in now and then, and just know that the bartender isn’t upset with you or hate your cat, we just really don’t have the extra time to chit-chat. We will make it up to you next time we can and ask you how your cat has been.
6.) ASKING US TO MAKE THAT DRINK FROM PINTREST
No, we can’t make you that one drink that has 5 different layers all blended into a pint glass, and we don’t have any extra cotton candy lying around to rim your glass. Any drink that looks like it will take more than 45 seconds to make, we can not do it. Unless you’re at a cocktail bar that specializes in fancy drinks, you’re simply out of luck. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Try ordering one of the many drinks offered at the bar. Want something different? Ask for the drink menu, or give the bartender a list of the ingredients and they can tell you if they can make it or not.
7.) EXPECTING EXCELLENT SERVICE WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT
Whether you agree or not, bartenders and servers only get paid a couple bucks an hour, and we have to pay our bills. Don’t expect the bartender to go out of their way to serve you if you aren’t going to compensate them for their time and effort. There is a saying, we like to call it T.I.P.S. (To Insure Prompt Service.) Pretty self explanatory. We aren’t saying it’s right, but neither is a $5 tip on a $100 tab.. **WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: 20% is the goal for bartenders to make per tab. The 20% would be for great service and timing. Now if a bartender is being terrible or just not doing their job, it’s understandable why you wouldn’t tip. But if you consistently get bad service at all the places you frequent, then I’ll help you out, you’re the problem. Bartending is really hard. It’s rewarding and worth it most of the time, that’s why we do it. That being said, we try to treat people equally and make sure everyone is having a good time and keeping their drinks full. Help us help you by tipping.
Well, there you have it, a list of the most common things bartenders judge customers for and how to fix it. This is just an article for me to vent and to maybe help some people out, so please don’t get offended. Life is too short to go around being offended about everything.
XOXO,
JB