This one time I had to help, a friend of mine who had his wrist broken, give an exam. Basically what he had arranged with examiner was I would be writing the things he would be speaking. There was going to be 5 exams like this. I didn't know at the time I agreed to this that he was sort of ambidextrous. He just wasn't confident about his secondary hand prowess. We were placed in a separate room so we may not disturb other giving exam. For two exams he would speak and I would write quickly as I could but, the process arduous for both he and I. More to him because he had to think a coherent thought and hold it in and release words slowly in small increment for my benefit. Like a mother dictating her slow child. Anyway, on third day he decided he would like to give his secondary hand a try and as it turns out it was very efficient in terms of speed than dictating things to me. So, I had to stay there for three hours unable to leave or do anything. I stayed seated on my seat and my mind in my cranium stayed seated unstimulated for three hours. It was gruesome, clock didn't seem to move. It might have been moving too quickly for my friend, jotting down his thoughts and calculation in a hurry but, I just waited to be closer to my death for three hours. This is exactly when I learnt that I survive a day without the internet . At least it would be unbearable.
Imagine if you were a rock hurtling down a mountain and at the feet of the mountain is where you die. Except your mind is the rock and and gravity is whatever compels the time to move forward and feet of the mountain is where you die. Now we all are falling down from mountains of different height and with more or less same rate of acceleration?! I don't know if it is same for time. And a very valuable idea to interject here is the the idea of time perception. How quick we perceive passing of time. That coefficient is very much influenced by the things you do with your time. Poor people like me don't travel, we go to internet. We surf the weird and deranged to feel and avoid facing our impending mortality at the feet of the mountain. We distract ourselves with good life of others and vicariously live the good life. This process needs to be more empathetic than jealous to be enjoyable so those living the good life feign modesty and gratefulness and thats the goddamn social contract. We look at twisted and broken people and laugh nervously at safety of our home but what's normal is quite relative isn't it? Maybe there is an evolutionary appeal to the thoughts that conceptualize to us what normal is. And maybe that's why you go to an eerie place in your mind if you ever face the asymmetricals and "abnormals" in real life no matter how much you say to yourself that there is good in everyone. I can't guarantee that there is good in everyone but, there sure is a human in everyone. If you strip the mask of asymmetric and diseased skin and disregard the artistically twisted skeleton, there are same chemicals regulating much of our platonic relationships and sentiments. Those bunch of chemicals is what a human is. Maybe, we watch the hard life instead of the good life to find that human. This process too must be more empathetic. Where's the goddamn social contract here?
aaaanyway, the longest I can go without internet is less than a day. I can manage more but I will really hate that very much.
