People respond to our behaviour, to how we treat them, and how they see us treating ourselves and others. How else are they to learn to what degree we can be trusted? How much they can relax when we are and are not around?
Our behaviour then is what determines how others will treat us, and how much we will enjoy our time here. So then, what determines our behaviour?
Is it ourselves, other people,
or a saviour?
Faith, Devotion and Religions
Perhaps a saviour is one that reminds us, (through example) to care about the emotional quality of our own personal behaviour rather than what others may or may not be doing?
(....amen to that idea....."hey Men!..what are your doing now?.. lol.... Allah allah allah...allow, allow, allow....)
Minding other peoples business is the fastest way to become upset. (many thanks - Byron Katie
The "spiritual practices" on the other hand, help us to focus on reducing personal anxieties and the "need" to interfere with or control others.
It has taken me decades to appreciate the wisdom that religions, offering the experience of connection and acceptance, have to offer.
Ultimately and to varying degrees it is we, it is us, who control the quality of our movements and actions at any time. (the quality of the "emotions" we are both feeling and projecting)
There is great responsibility and power in this, yet that does not make it any easier, more comfortable or less painful to see and choose the ideal, (graceful and effective) way to move. So we look to others, and when we aren’t even looking, we just run a program.
Back to Biology
Plants and animals run programs too, as far as we know they don't have the capacity to imagine alternate futures and make decisions. They run on instincts that are triggered by signals from their environment and from each other.
Organisms that work in social groups are more “domesticate-able” simply because their survival depends upon responding to signals from within their groups and tribes.
Wild animals are tuned to their habitat, domesticated animals are tuned to their habits, the conditions they have adapted to.
We are all different ("I'm not!" - life of Brian)
We are turned on and off in different ways. Each of us finds different things fascinating, easy to concentrate on, more fun to play with. That is a very cool thing about humans, and can make us more fun to be around.
We may build trust by being similar and predictable but once we have that, we may hold interest by being unique and surprising. The things we come to enjoy and dislike and the way we share those feelings make up our personality.
Ego with less fear can be beautiful, fun, creative, flexible, sensitive and kind
I see Ego as the "personification" of habitual conditioning - it can appear to be largely fear based because positive emotional experiences are not anchored in the limbic system, the way threat based ones are. Our goal in healing relationships is to be less reactive and more aware, less programmed and more responsible. More able to respond in kindness or in tune to what is "actually" happening.
How to balance conformity and originality while growing up in an environment that is increasingly synthetic?
The body/minds we evolved to exist in, are changing their environment faster than they can adapt to it. This can leave us confused all the way down to our cells. Some call this anxiety, some call it stress, I call it fear and it is the very opposite of relaxation. Remember in the first post, we looked at relaxation? That is where all the good stuff happens.
How to adapt to our conditions without becoming “conditioned” - is it even possible?
Yes and it all comes down to language and emotion…which we will look at next.
Thank you for reading - please B good, B patient and B kind to yourselves...
=B-)
running out of original art for part 3... back to the drawing board...ha ha